I hate to sound like a crotchety old man (yet again), but kids today have everything. I mean, how can you tell these entitled little monsters they can’t have something when pretty much everything they could ever want/need is instantly available? What’s this, I have to wait thirty seconds for my cartoons to load up? Instant temper tantrum! What do you mean I can’t get the latest video game system? Who cares how much it costs – I want it!

Alright, so I might be exaggerating a bit. Not every child out there is a demon spawn, but for those times when your little angel embodies the Dark Lord and you’re looking for the perfect punishment then the StoPower Power Plug Lock (Amazon, $16.99) is for you. A classic parental punishment is the abolishment of electronics and I’m not suggesting you mess with something that’s been working for generations, but what happens when you’re not home? I know, I know, your sweet child wouldn’t dare watch television when you’re not around! In case you’re a little less trusting, why not just lock it up? You could go through the effort of setting up parental locks on certain channels or you could take the easy way out and lock the plug, making it impossible to plug the appliance into an outlet. You can attach the lock to any plug and the device that once brought joy to the hearts of many will be rendered useless.

I’d recommend buying some earplugs because there’s sure to be an epic meltdown once this is discovered.

5 out of 5 stars.

Specs:

-Dimensions: 3.4″ x 2.6″ x 0.9″

-Makes devices impossible to operate

-Attaches to any plug

Since the start of the New Year, I’ve been trying to cut down on unnecessary expenses. There are quite a few ways to go about this since “unnecessary” is a completely objective term. Some people view eating out every night of the week as “necessary” while others wouldn’t even consider it unless it was a special occasion. And I hate to be “that guy” but I really do think that cutting a lot of little things that you probably won’t miss instead of one big thing you’d hate to live without is the path to savings.

What’s something small that you can cut out of your life with little to no backlash? How about haircuts? No, I’m not suggesting that you grow your hair like Fabio (although it is pretty fabulous). The Single Handed Barber (Hammacher Schlemmer, $59.95) allows you to easily cut your hair at home instead of trotting out to the barber every month or so to maintain your luscious locks. I know, cutting your own hair can be intimidating – who can even see what the back looks like? This one-handed trimmer features an ergonomic design that makes cutting as simple as combing your hair. By moving the trimmer in a circular motion through your hair, the rotary cutting system’s stainless steel blades trim your hair easily and efficiently. Choose from two different attachments to achieve one of four possible desired hair lengths and in about five minutes’ time you’ll have a stylish new ‘do.

RIP Flowbee.

4 out of 5 stars.

Specs:

-Dimensions: 4″ x 3.25″

-One handed electric hair trimmer

-Includes trimmer, comb, scissors, storage pouch, barber’s cape, and AC adapter

-Rotary cutting system

-Cuts hair to four lengths: 1/8″, 1/4″, 3/8″, or 1/2″

-Provides 4 haircuts per charge

-Rechargeable battery

-Ergonomic design

-Stainless steel blades

I’m one of those people who can’t fall asleep unless it’s completely dark in the room. I’m talking shades drawn, blinds shut, and blackout curtains before I can even entertain the notion of a REM cycle. If you’re like me and need total darkness to sleep, you know that even the dimmest of lights can be distracting – perhaps even more so when you’ve created a sleep cocoon of obscurity.

Besides the standby light on my television, the worst sleep disrupter is my alarm clock. When everything is pitch black just the way I like it, my alarm clock might as well be having a rave for all the intensity it radiates. The Secret Agent Projection Alarm Clock (Latest Buy, $30.55) is an alarm clock with all the bells and whistles you love without the pesky sleep disruptions. If you want to know the time, simply pull the trigger to project the time onto the surface of your choice. Store this gun-shaped alarm clock underneath your pillow and wake up from its gentle vibrations instead of a soul-jarring beeping. Because the clock runs on batteries, you can easily travel with it and never have to worry about missing another appointment. I mean, there is still a snooze function so it’s not entirely foolproof – sleep snooze pushers, I’m looking at you.

Talk about good vibrations!

3 out of 5 stars.

Specs:

-Vibrating alarm clock

-Projects time onto any surface

-Features:

     -Time/date function

     -Alarm

     -Snooze

     -LCD color backlight

     -Temperature display

-Requires 2 AAA batteries (not included)

Remember back in the day of cassette tapes and portable CD players when headphones were either massive monstrosities or incredibly flimsy? On the surface, it would appear that not much has changed. There’s a great divide amongst music enthusiasts as to what constitutes quality music consumption: DJ-style headphones or barely there earbuds.

Whatever side of the fence you’re sitting on, you have to admit that earbuds are generally more practical for travel and an on-the-go lifestyle. The problem with any kind of headphones is that the cord is constantly getting all tangled up when not in use (or when in use, really). The Zip Headphones (Convenient Gadgets & Gifts, $19.95) sidestep this issue by using, you guessed it, a zipper instead of a conventional cord. The cord is over four feet long and you can zip or unzip it to meet your needs for any specific function. Now you can throw your earbuds in your bag when you’re done with them and retrieve them later without spending an hour untangling them!

Zipperhead!

4 out of 5 stars.

Specs:

-Dimensions: Over 4′ long

-No tangle headphones

-Includes headphones and 2 sizes of silicone ear tips

-Zip to store

I can’t stand a warm beverage. Seriously, I don’t care if it’s hot chocolate or chocolate milk, neither should be warm; I prefer my drinks to be an extreme temperature in either direction but never tepid. You can try loading up your drink with ice during the summer but it’ll only melt insanely fast and then you’ll be left with a watered down mess.

The Chill Cooling Wine Spout (Perpetual Kid, $20.99) is similar to another of my favorite gadgets, the Corkcicle, but it’s the new and improved version. See, this doodad does everything that its predecessor did as well as add in a few new features. This wine (or liquor) bottle chiller also functions as bottle stopper and even has a built-in, drip-free pour spout – I don’t know about you, but I have yet to master pouring a glass of wine without leaving a trail of vino running down the bottle. Simply place the spout in the freezer for two hours and it’ll be fully frozen and ready to go!

Seriously, wine not?

5 out of 5 stars.

Specs:

-Dimensions: 12.5″

-Wine bottle cooling spout

-Cooling spout freezes after 2 hours

-Built in pour spout

-Integrated leak proof stopper

-Available in green, pink, blue, or grey

-Made of plastic and silicone