You know that dirty, filthy, disgusting habit you have? You know, smoking? You know how much it sucks when you have to go outside into the bitter cold winter air to get a nicotine jolt because your nonsmoking friends don’t want you stinking up their house? I mean, you could just not smoke while you’re hanging out over there, but that is a lot to ask. And you’ve almost gotten your cigarette breaks down to five minutes every hour. But how are you supposed to keep your fingers from turning into cigarette flavored popsicles?
The Smoking Mittens (Firebox.com, $24.95) are here to rescue your cigarette holding appendages! These handy (!) mittens not only keep your fingers roasty toasty warm, but also allow you to smoke while doing so. How do they do it, you ask? Simple. One of the mittens has a metal eyelet hole, which is perfectly sized to fit your cigarette. What you do is put your mitten on the hand you normally smoke with, load the cigarette into the hole and light with your free hand, then put the remaining mitten on your other hand. Viola! Now you have warm hands and smoke-filled lungs, with very little effort on your part. Don’t worry, if for some reason you decide to switch up your smoking hand, the mitten are reversible. The mittens are also one size fits all and unisex, so all you guys out there can borrow them from your girlfriends without experiencing a deduction in man points.
One minor detail – I would be wary of sparking up a cigarette while wearing both mittens, unless you want to set yourself on fire. I mean, if that’s what you’re into, I’m not gonna stand in your way. Just remember what good ole Smokey said: Only you can prevent forest fires.
4 out of 5 nicotine stars.
Specs:
-One size fits all
-Unisex
-Cigarette sized metal eyelet in one mitten only
-Reversible, for left or right handed smoking
-Keeps hands warm while allowing you to hold a cigarette
