You know what I love more than anything? White Castle. I do, I really love those mini burgers, with the onions and tiny buns they nestle themselves between. I can eat like five of them at a time, that’s how great they are. The only real issue here is proximity. I mean, how dare White Castle not have franchises all over the country! Unless you live in the NYC/NJ area, you’re pretty much screwed. I know you’ve seen those frozen White Castle burgers at your local supermarket. You’re tempted to try them, aren’t you? I don’t blame you; I was curious myself. But please, for you sake, stay away! It’s merely a White Castle facade. Sure they call themselves White Castle, they look like White Castle, and they very well might be White Castle, but it’s just not the same as a freshly made mini burger with a side of crinkle cut fries at the Nanuet White Castle. So just how are you supposed to get your White Castle fix, sans road trip?
With the Big City Slider Station (Amazon, $19.95) you can make your own delicious mini burgers in your very own kitchen. I know, I know, actually having to cook a meal yourself can be a real drag, but come on, I swear it’s worth it. Now, you take your handy dandy mini burger pan, and fill each slot of the five slots with a scoop of ground meat (beef, turkey, chicken, etc.). You can do this using a regular old spoon, the measuring spoon that comes with the pan, or your good ole hands. But that’s it, those are your three options. Anywho, then you take the top of the pan and smush the patties down flat, keeping the top on throughout the cooking process. This cooks the patties on both sides, which means your don’t have to flip them, so it cuts your cooking time in half. You can cook these burgers over an open flame if you’re feeling ambitious, but more than likely, you’re feeling lazy so cooking them over the stovetop is just fine too. Wait a few minutes, and then…presto changeo! You have mini burgers that are so delightfully scrumptious, you’ll be wondering why you ever went to White Castle in the first place. Maybe. Probably not.
So yeah, you could head out to White Castle to get your burger fix, if that’s what you crave. But if you made them at home with your fantastic new mini burger pan, you could have it your way. You should just do what tastes right. As for this new mini burger pan, I’m lovin’ it.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 8.5″ x 3″ x 14.5″
-Includes: pan, measuring spoon, recipe guide
-Perfectly round patties in minutes
-No flipping necessary
-Easy to clean
-Nonstick
-Aluminum
Are you into magic? I don’t mean that stupid David Blaine stunt crap – hanging upside down for days on end pretending you’re a bat is not magic, it’s just idiocy. I’m talking about good old fashioned trickery. Is this your card? How did that rabbit get in that hat? And maybe, just maybe, you can saw the magician’s lovely assistant in half without actually sawing her in half. This is magic, the true magic of…magicians. But more importantly, how can you produce such magic? A mere mortal soul, how can you bewilder and amaze the unsuspecting eye?
Easy peasy! The Hidden Bookshelf (ThinkGeek, $12.99) allows you to showcase your love for literature with a chunk of mystical wizardry. Intrigued? Of course you are. This bookshelf is an L-shaped wedge of metal that attaches to your wall, thereby creating a functional piece of art in your home. Now it’s time to do your part. Go ahead and grab your favorite book, preferably the large hardcover edition of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Great, this is going to be your bookshelf base. Now open up the book so that the back hardcover is underneath the metal wedge and the top hardcover and all the pages are on top. Secure the back hardcover to the metal wedge with the attached clip and place the top hardcover and pages on top of the metal wedge. What’s this, are my eye deceiving me? Is that a book, floating along your wall? But how? The answer is simply, my friends: Magic.
You can add more books on top of the first one, but keep in mind that the max weight is 20lbs, unless you want a big hunk of wall and books on your floor. Along those same lines, please screw the metal wedge directly into a stud. If you’re having trouble finding one, you can go out and get yourself a stud finder. And no, I’m not talking about a 20oz beer and a home cooked meal.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Holds up to 20 lbs
-10″ max book depth
-Screwing directly into a stud strongly recommended
-Brushed aluminum finish
Were you ever at a party and you had this ridiculously awesome story to tell, but you really needed to gesticulate wildly to get your point across? I know, that’s like everyone’s Friday night. But don’t you always run into the problem of just how to free up your hands in order to tell said story? I mean, you could just put your food and drink down, hoping that someone else doesn’t scoop them up during your magnum opus? Because I’ll give you a hint: your food and drink are going bye-bye. No, that simply won’t do. And unless you’re telling a story about a food juggler who dropped his meal all over himself at a party while telling a story, you can’t multi-task your way out of this. So what gives?
All you need is the Finger Food Finger Plates (Stupid.com, $7.99) to make all your party dreams come true. I know, you’re now thoroughly confused, but allow me to explain. See, these cute little plates are fitted with a ring that attaches to your finger. Simply place the finger plate on your finger, place a bite-sized food item on the place, and then proceed with outlandish hand gestures. Not only are these plates adorable, but they’re actually functional, which is so rarely the case. I mean, yeah, you can’t fit a 4-course meal on these plates, but then again, who’s serving a 4-course meal at a party on a Friday night? No one I know, that’s for sure.
Don’t worry, they’re reusable so it’s not like you’re gonna be breaking the bank to invest in some of these for your next shindig. Or, if you really want to be the coolest kid at the party, you can buy them for yourself and bring them along to all your festivities. Then you can be that guy who just whips out his finger plate, leaving everyone else in the room to gasp in wonder and amazement.
Think of it as a hands-free headset, only for your hands.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Set of 10 plates
-Reusable
-One size fits most
So you’re in your car on the way to an awesome party, when you get totally and completely lost. You call up your friend, Sarah, to get directions to her house, and she starts rattling them off. No problem, right? Wrong, because for about the hundredth time, you not only don’t have anything to write on, but you don’t have anything to write with. And Sarah’s just whipping through those directions, absolutely ignoring your protests for her to slow down so you can attempt to memorize them. Before you know it, she’s got some excuse about massive amounts of people showing up at her house any minute and she hangs up on you. Fantastic. Now what?
Consider your crisis averted with the Perfect Solutions Auto Marker Board (Graveyardmall.com, $4.49). This handy little contraption is a white board that attaches to your car’s sun visor, which is just about the perfect place to jot down important things like directions or grocery lists. Don’t worry, it attaches via elastic straps so it’s not a permanent feature and it won’t harm your car’s precious interior. I know, you don’t even carry a regular pen in your car so how can you be expected to have a dry erase one? Well, this baby comes with a dry erase marker that fits right onto the white board, so you’re less likely to lose it (and it’s not like you’ll be taking it out of your car like a regular pen). And you were going to ask about an eraser next, weren’t you? You’ll be happy to know that a track slide eraser is built-in, so if you decide that you didn’t really need that note about picking up eggs after work, it’s gone with the flick of your wrist. One last noteworthy feature is the twin position light beams, making your white board ideal for late night directions.
See, now if you had had this Auto Marker Board, you would be all sorts of prepared when you called up Sarah for directions. And then you would totally show up right on time (you are so very punctual), proceed to get completely hammered, and vomit all over Sarah’s prized begonias in the front yard. It would have been a shame to miss that.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Includes dry eraser pen
-Twin position light beams for night use
-Attaches to visor with elastic straps
-On track slide eraser to wipe away notes
-Uses 2 AAA batteries (not included)
So you’re on the phone with your girlfriend and you’re in the middle of this heated argument, when all of a sudden, your phone signals that it’s about to die. You keep trying to interrupt her to tell her that your phone is going to cut off, but she won’t listen to you. You keep yelling, “My phone is about to die!” and she’s all, “Stop interrupting me!” and then, well, you know what happens next. That’s right, your phone dies because you left your charger over at her place and she assumes that you hung up on her because you didn’t agree with her PETA propaganda (which may or may not actually be true). Regardless of your stance on animal rights, now that your phone is charged, your girlfriend won’t take your calls. Might this have been avoided, you ask?
Well if you had the Emergency Charger (Firebox.com, $9.95), then you might not be in the middle of a silent showdown. This cute little device is powered by a single AA battery, and can give your cell phone up to two hours of extra talk time. That’s right, from one teeny weeny little battery, you can sustain anything from a meaningful conversation about Freud’s Oedipus complex to a quick call to the local cab company to secure a chariot ride home for the evening. I know, some of you are thinking, “Hmm, that adapter doesn’t look like it would fit my phone, how unfair!” But slow down, don’t get yourself all worked up over nothing because this charger comes with four different adapter leads, which just about guarantees that you’ll find one to fit your phone. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here’s how it works: you put a AA battery in the charger, connect the appropriate adapter to both the charger and your phone, and you’re in business.
It all seems a little too simple, doesn’t it? Well, I wish I could tell you that there was some ridiculously hard way to go about using this product, but nope, it’s just that easy. Now, if only resurrecting your disaster-prone relationship was that simple…
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 2.75″ x 0.75″ x 0.75″
-4 different adapter leads
-Charges with 1 AA battery
-Gives up to 2hr extra talk time
-Charge time is comparable to standard phone charger
