Did you ever notice that things that come in small packages are automatically way cuter than their average sized counterparts? I mean, it’s not really fair because it’s really the same thing, just smaller. But come on, it is hard to deny that mini marshmallows are a thousand times cooler than regular marshmallows. Unless when you’re making s’mores, of course, because that would just irritatingly time-consuming. But yeah, every other time, bite-sized is the winner, hands down.
On that note, the Multi Tier Cake Pan (The Home Marketplace, $36.99) is just the cutest wutest, itty bitty cake pan that you ever did see! See, it’s like a regular 3-tiered cake, only smaller. Pretty neat, huh? I mean, everyone and their mother does cupcakes for parties because they’re more single-serving than a huge cake and they’re easier to make. Now imagine the look on everyone’s face when you walk into the party with these bad boys. I’ll admit, they’re a little harder to frost than your average cupcake, but it really gives a whole new meaning to a personal cake baked just for you. The cake pan itself is nonstick, which is basically a prerequisite for any baking I do, and it’s dishwasher safe, which is good because hand washing dishes is also a real deterrent for me.
The only thing I’m not so crazy about here is the price. I think $36.99 is a little steep for this baking pan, but only because I know that I’d want at least three or four of these things to make it easier on myself when baking for a larger event. Then again, you are getting four 3-tiered cakes out of this pan, so it’s really a steal at this price. Now if only it came with someone who comes over with all the supplies, bakes and frosts the cake, and cleans up the kitchen…
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 4 1/2″ x 10 5/8″
-Four wells
-Nonstick
-Aluminized steel pan
-Dishwasher safe
Are you a tea fanatic? I know I am. Tea is the new coffee, which is the new black. It’s true, all the cool kids are drinking it. It doesn’t matter if it’s green tea, white tea, black tea, or yellow polka dot bikini tea (which is delicious, by the way). Apparently, tea has all sorts of health benefits, including those antioxidants everyone’s always yammering on about. Ok, now that you’re in the know about the magnificent powers of tea, you should probably go out and get some. So you’ve got your grab bag of different teas, but you have no idea how to go about making this tea. It’s all so confusing with the different types and steep times, so what are you gonna do?
That’s where the Zarafina Tea Maker Suite (Amazon, $87.99) comes in. This indispensible tea dispenser is perfect for any tea lover, whether they be a long term tea connoisseur or a complete newbie. In order to make the perfect cup of tea, you need to be well versed in the complex laws of physics, or so it would appear. Different kinds of tea usually require different temperatures and brewing times to yield maximum flavor, but really, who has the time to worry about all that? This lovely machine does the legwork for you. Once you pick out what kind of tea you will be brewing, you select the type (green, black, white, herbal, and oolong) and strength (mild, medium, or strong) on the tea maker. You also have the option of using loose or bagged tea, which you then select on the tea maker as well. Now that the hard decision making process is over, you simply load up your tea, fill the 16oz chamber with water, and turn on the machine. Using its remarkable technological knowledge, the Zarafina Tea Maker Suite heats up to the correct temperature and allows the tea to steep for the correct time. Once the steeping process is complete, the tea is automatically dispensed into the ceramic teapot provided. Two tea cups are even provided so that you can assemble the perfect tea party for two.
As someone who drinks about five cups of tea a day, this thing is freaking amazing. I haven’t seen a teapot that fanteastic, this teariffic in oolong time.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 7.6″ x 7″ x 9.9″
-Weight: 12.3 lbs.
-Includes: ceramic teapot, 2 tea cups, and serving tray
-Liquid chamber holds 16oz
-Uses loose or bagged tea
-Stainless steel accented
-Auto dispensing
-Customizable tea strength ranges from mild to strong
-1 year limited warranty
Ah, January. It’s a wonderful month, isn’t it? The start of the new year is always so carefree and fun, when you can throw caution to the wind and your worries simply melt away. So have you started thinking about tax season yet? What, you forgot about tax season? That W2 is on its way, my friend. And no, it doesn’t care that you don’t have any accounting experience. Nope, just because you haven’t the faintest clue how to properly file a tax return doesn’t mean that you’re exempt. No sir, if you don’t file a return, the IRS will find you. And I don’t think I have to tell you that that’s not something you’d like. Let’s put it this way: if the IRS were a killing machine, it would be The Terminator.
Alright, calm down. I can’t believe you think I would lead you astray in your time of need. Listen, you can go right back to being carefree and whimsical, just as long as you use Turbo Tax to file your taxes. Now, you could just go with the Basic package, which will run you about $29.95, and while that’s all fine and dandy, you just don’t get as much stuff as you could get for $59.95 with the Deluxe. I know, you’re wondering why you would pay that much just for a little help on your taxes. With the Deluxe package, you get help with both your Federal and State returns (State not included in Basic package). Turbo Tax will help you figure out how to maximize those charitable donations you make throughout the year. It also tailors the service to fit your needs by asking you simple questions to make filling out those seemingly endless forms faster. Speaking of faster, how about importing your tax information instead of painstakingly retyping it? And if you should have a question while doing your return, you can email, call, or live chat with someone from Turbo Tax. I mean, seriously, they really couldn’t make this any easier.
Now, if for some reason Turbo Tax makes a mistake and The Terminator comes after you with penalty fees, Turbo Tax will pay the penalties and/or interest incurred. How cool is that? I mean, how often does someone actually own up their mistake and be all like, “Oh, that was totally my fault and here’s that money that I owe you.” Just think of it like this: The Terminator is coming after you, he’s trying to trip you up and destroy your world. But look, there’s John Connor (aka Turbo Tax) and he’s gonna protect you from The Terminator, even if it means putting himself on the line.
Come with me if you want to live.
5 out of 5 John Connor stars.
So I heard you finally built that awesome coffee table you’ve always been blathering on about. Alright, “built” is a bit of a strong word – you really just took a regular store bought coffee table from IKEA, covered it with hundreds of bottle caps (perhaps collected via your fridge magnet bottle opener, eh?), and stuck a piece of glass on top. Hey, we’re not gonna quibble because it’s pretty tremendous. But have you thought about what will happen at the great unveiling? I mean, there’s bound to be some adult beverages served, and since everyone will be congregating around said table, aren’t you a little nervous about its more than likely impending doom? Your new table is vulnerable to all the big baddies – scratches, scuff marks, and yes, quite possibly the most feared by all coffee tables: water marks. Shh, don’t worry, I’ve got a plan that’ll keep your greatest life’s work safe without turning it into an L-7 weenie.
That’s right, the Classic Rock Album Coasters (Stupid.com, $21.99) will not only protect your new piece of artwork, but they’ll do it in style. These aren’t your garden variety coasters, no sir. Each of these coasters is stamped out from an actual vinyl record, making it one of the coolest things to place your drink on since, well, you’re fantastic coffee table. Yeah, $21.99 is a little steep to be paying for a set of four coasters, but come on, these things are freaking amazing. I mean, coasters by nature are resigned to being this boring layer of protection between your drink and your table, which isn’t really fair when you think about it. Why do coasters have such a bad rap? They’re doing you a service, man. You should totally respect them. But it’s hard to respect a flimsy piece of cardboard, so it’s about time coasters got a bit of an overhaul in the trendy department. These are some coasters you can down upon, but in a starry eyed admiration kind of way. With their cork backing making them a sturdy surface and a waterproof coating for lasting protection, it’s hard not to fall in love with them just a little bit.
There are over 50 different bands represented in all their vintage glory, and no two sets are alike. So you can go ahead and order as many as you like without having to worry about duplicates. With that many options, you could order enough to cover your entire coffee table! Wait a second…
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Set of 4
-Over 50 different bands represented
-No two sets are alike
-Made from real vintage records
-Waterproof
-Cork backing
You’ve done it – you’ve managed to throw the coolest house party known to man. I know, some thought it couldn’t be done, but you’re proved them wrong. People will be talking about this party for years; they will tell their children’s children of its magnitude. It will be likened to the soirees of kings and queens, of knights and roundtables, of horses and stables…wait, what?
With the Fridge Magnet Bottle Opener (ThinkGeek, $19.99) you hold the key to unlocking the festival of the century. This amazing piece of kitchen wonderment is actually a stainless steel plate with a magnetic rubber backing, which allows it to stick to your fridge while providing an invaluable party service. Having this bottle opener tacked onto your fridge means no more endless futile searching for anything in the house that will get the cap off your brewski. You won’t have to miss out on any more drinking games because you’re too drunk to remember where you left the bottle opener (it’s in your pocket, Einstein). And because this bottle opener is stuck to the fridge, you can open your drinks single-handedly. The reason this rocks is two-fold: 1) you look cool, which is really all that matters; 2) you can brace your drunken self on the fridge with one hand, using the other hand to open that beer and continue to get your drink on. The second move may take some practice to successfully maneuver, but trust me, it’s worth mastering if you want to impress the ladies.
Just think of all the money you’ll save on bottle openers with this almost idiot proof solution! I mean, I’m sure if you invite the Hulk over, you might have some issues with the bottle opener to fridge bondage. Then again, that Hulk always was a bit of a drama queen. You say one little thing about your new flat screen and he’s all green with envy. Some people, man.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 5″ x 8″
-Magnetic
-Chrome finish
