Are you ever watching tv, your shivering body cuddled up underneath a blanket, only to have your arms and hands peek out? I mean, how else are you supposed to surf the internet, change the channel, or eat a snack without taking your arms out from their cozy blanket cocoon? There’s no other way to be slightly active, yet still snuggled up in laziness, without sacrificing your upper appendages. Or at least that used to be true…
That is until the Snuggie (Miles Kimball, $14.95) came along and changed couch lounging as we know it. I know, you’re a little skeptical about such a momentous occasion, especially when the catalyst is called a Snuggie. Let me share with you how this cute blanketesque object just made all your sloth aspirations possible. See, the Snuggie is a blanket with sleeves. That’s right, you put this blanket on like a robe, only with the opening in the back. That way, it seems all the normal functions of a regular blanket by covering your torso and legs, but now its warmth extends to your arms and hands. You can type, eat, and even talk on the phone without having to forfeit your comfy environment. This fleece safe haven is one size fits all and is available in blue or burgundy. Don’t worry, it’s machine washable so you can just about live in it and then throw it in the wash for a quick cleansing.
The Snuggie used to only be available via late night infomercial, but now the day has come where you can veg out in front of the tv, laptop at the ready, and order this baby online. The only problem is that you’re going to have to deal with some harsh frigid temperatures on your forearms, but once you’ve placed your order, all those insufferable afflictions will be a thing of the past.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-One size fits all -Fleece construction -Available in blue or burgundy -Machine washable
As we get older and more responsible, we tend to loosen up a bit of the crazy drunken parties of our heyday. Well, at least some people do. The rest of us still act as silly and ridiculous as we ever did, we’re just more refined in our inebriated states. How does that happen? First, we stop drinking the cheapest beer available right out of their bottles and cans. Instead, we invest in chic and impressive barware, like martini shakers and pint glasses. But how do you marry your youthful spirit with your adult sophistication?
Your must rely on the Innermost Half Pint Glasses (Design Public, $32.00) for this essential transformation. Not your average glassware, this set of two half pint glasses has a little something extra. Each glass is made of double walled borosilicate glass, which means that it keeps cold drinks cold (or hot drinks hot) so your drink is always just the right temperature. And anyone who’s ever had to suffer through drinking a lukewarm beer knows that that’s one of the most important things to remember in beer 101. Because the double walled glass holds the temperature in, your hands also don’t get too cold or too hot from holding your beverage. So not only do these glasses go above and beyond the normal requirements for adult beverage holders, they’re also a great piece of decor. I mean, who could take a look at these and not be amazed by their ingenuity? Ok, so maybe you’re not a beer drinker, but you still feel the need to possess these functional pieces of art. No prob, you can still use them to keep your ice water icy or you could drink your hot herbal tea from them without worrying that it’s going to be cold in a few minutes time.
Personally, if someone was so gracious as to bestow these upon me as a token of their affection, I might have to throw away all my other glasses because there’s no way that they could possibly compare with such a glassware dynamo. I’ve actually already thrown all my glasses away in anticipation of such a gift, so I would really appreciate it if that certain someone could hurry up and get me a set of these. I’m getting pretty thirsty.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Capacity: 8 fluid ounces -Double walled borosilicate glass -Sold as set of 2 glasses in gift box
Have you ever been sitting in your car on a bridge during a traffic jam, daydreaming about what would happen if the car behind you suddenly collided with yours? You know, pushing you through the barrier and into the water below, where you would remain trapped in your car until the end of time? I bet you’re thinking about it now. I bet you’re thinking about how you would go about getting out of your car, with the automatic power windows rolled up and the automatic doors locked. Well, what did you come up with?
If I were you, I would be thinking about investing in the Escape Hammer (Walter Drake, $8.99). If you had this tiny tool, you could sleep soundly at night, confident that you could survive a water immersion. What’s the deal with this emergency escape tool? Well, on one end there are double-sided steel tips, which are able to puncture your car windows. This comes in handy when you have automatic windows that won’t roll down once your car is underwater. All you have to do is whack the steel tip against your window, causing the window to shatter enough so you can kick your way out and swim to the surface. Otherwise, doors locked and windows up, you’re sleeping with the fishes. The other end of the tool has a seat belt cutter, which is also a good thing because breaking your window is really of no use to you if you’re still stuck in your seat. While seat belts are an effective safety precaution in car accidents, you don’t want to be stuck in one if your car is in the bottom of a lake. All you have to do is use the razor to saw through the super durable seat belt material and then you’re free – minus the whole stuck in a car underwater thing, but that’s why this tool is a twofer. There’s also a glow in the dark tab to make this tool a little easier to find in the dark, which is good because I bet it’s probably wicked dark 20,000 leagues under the sea.
This could make a very thoughtful gift. You could give it to the person you love, perhaps with a note that says something to the effect of, “I hope you don’t crash into a lake, only to die in an automobile grave surrounded by water.” I’m sure it would go over real well.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 7″ long -Includes steel tip window breaker, safety razor seat belt cutter, and glow in the dark tab
Ok, it’s time for the semi-annual interoffice showdown, and you need to choose your weapons wisely. You and three of your coworkers have been nominated to represent your sector, and you’re under strict orders from the man upstairs to come out on top. But just how are you going to do it? Not only do you need something intimidating, but it also has to have the power to back up its menacing exterior. Where oh where are you going to find such a wondrous and mythical piece of machinery?
Troops, look no further than the Nerf Elimination Office Warfare Set (ThinkGeek, $29.99) for all your office demolition competition needs. This set comes with four miniature Nerf Elimination Blasters, one for each of you and your fellow office comrades. Each Nerf Blaster comes with two screaming Nerf Darts, one of which is loaded in the barrel while the other stores within the handle. Now, I know what you’re gonna say, that two darts just isn’t enough and that you need more power. But really, this is just a friendly game of office combat to decide once and for all who is the best department, so do you really need more than two darts? Ok, maybe for that you do. Luckily, there are Elimination Game instructions included in this set, which state that once you get hit, you’re out. And then the last person standing after everyone else has been demolished is said to be the winner.
So now it becomes a battle of wits and restraint, knowing that you only have two darts and three targets. Only the most knowledgeable of warriors can survive such a crusade. Let the fighting begin.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 5″ x 4.5″ unloaded, 5″ x 6.75″ loaded -Includes 4 Mini Nerf Elimination Blasters, 8 screaming Nerf Darts, and Elimination Game instructions -Blaster holds one dart in barrel and stores second dart in the handle
Haven’t you always wanted to visit New York City? I mean, who wouldn’t? There’s so much to do, what with the museums, Broadway shows, and nightlife, you’d almost be crazy not to go. So you’ve gone out and bought all your guidebooks, packed all your city friendly outfits, and bought your plane tickets. But you know what could really put a damper on your vaykay? Not knowing how to get around the city. To look, and feel, like a true New Yorker, you should take the subway. But the worst thing you can do is look like a fumbling tourist in the city that never sleeps. So unless you’re Rand McNally, how are you supposed to get around without revealing your lack of directional expertise?
With the Credit Card Subway Maps (Firebox, $12.95), you can find your way around the city’s subway grid without looking like a total noob. This ingenious little card is small enough to fit in your wallet, yet it embodies all the information you need to navigate your way around NYC’s underground transportation system. So you can basically take this little card out of your wallet to get your bearings, totally unnoticed by the hustle and bustle of New York’s commuter crowd, and catch the appropriate subway line. It’s made of stainless steel, so you don’t have to worry about it deteriorating in your wallet as time goes on. The ultra durable consistency also comes in handy if you’re trying to get home after a long night of boozing and your coordination isn’t up to par. Your favorite map might just end up in a pool of leftover booze and frightening unknown liquids on the barroom floor or in the gutter outside the bar, surrounded by cigarette butts and discarded gum. Now aren’t you glad that your navigation system is water-friendly?
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 3.75″ x 2.25″ x .04″ -Manhattan subway map -Stainless steel
