So unless you’ve been living under a rock for your entire life, you should know that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Sure, you may not like it, you may hate the stupid candy, flowers, and card holiday, but you can’t deny its existence. So what are you gonna do on Valentine’s Day? Do you have a big romantic night planned with your sweetie? Or are you boycotting the entire day and refusing to acknowledge the lovesick yuppie couples you have to trip over throughout the day? Ok, well whether or not you like the holiday, you’re still going to be bombarded with merchandise, as you have been for the past few weeks. You might as well hop on the bandwagon and make the most of things, right?
If you were wearing the 8-Bit Dynamic Life Shirt (ThinkGeek, $24.99), there’s no way that you could hate Valentine’s Day. And how does something as simple as a shirt dissuade your feelings of hate? Easy. It lights up. I think you would be hard-pressed to argue that light up apparel doesn’t put a smile on your face. So you can rest easy this Valentine’s Day, rocking your light up shirt for all to see. But wait, there is a catch. Come on, you had to see that coming. You have to buy two t-shirts. I know, I know, you’re starting to turn on me, but hear me out. Each shirt is has six hearts on it, two and a half of which are lit up at all times. Once you get within hugging distance of each other (about five meters), all six hearts light up. So you can showcase your undying love for your significant other (or bestie) without making everyone in the room want to vomit. Well, ok, if you have a really sensitive upchuck reflex then you might be affected, but your casual observer should be fine. Now, for those of you who are unattached, there is another option. You can buy a transmitter box for $11.99, which basically takes the place of the second shirt. That way, you can put the box next to something that makes you happy (couch, tv, fridge, crush) and the hearts on your shirt will reach full capacity when you are within range of said box. And don’t think that you have to be skanky and never wash your shirt because of all the built-in hardware. The battery pack and animated decal are removable for washing, just follow the instructions within the shirt packaging.
See, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to suck. It can be the best day you’ve ever had, I mean it. If you would just open your heart to the possibility of love, then love will find you. And in time, that love will blossom into a deeply meaningful relationship that transcends any experience you’ve ever had.
Ok, I just threw up on my computer.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Two shirts together makes all 6 hearts light up
-One shirt and transmitter box together makes all 6 hearts light up
-Shirts are $24.99 each, not sold as a set
-Animated decal removable for washing
-Battery pack sewn into concealed pocket inside shirt
-Black 100% cotton shirt
-Uses 3 AAA batteries (not included)
