That’s right, the USB Webcam Rocket Launcher (ThinkGeek, 49.00) is the key eliminating office promotion opponents. This is so much better than your standard desktop rocket launcher because it has a webcam attached to it. This way, you can actually see your target in real time, making it ridiculously easy to peg them in the back before they even notice you’re aiming at them. And if you feel like being above all the adolescent tomfoolery, you can just use the webcam for its natural purpose (this is also a great cover story for when you’re planning a sneak attack). If you can con someone in the office into purchasing one of these too, then you can plan wars against each other. But watch out, because you’ll be able to take control of each other’s missile launchers, so if you let your guard down at the wrong moment, you could be getting a foam dart right to the chest. With a 15 foot range, you could probably even hit that overly enthusiastic yahoo from HR without anyone knowing it was you. You can turn on the included sound effects if you want your target to get some advanced warning before the battle begins, but I prefer a stealth attack.

Come on, who wouldn’t jump at the chance to obtain this webcam? I’m calling it a webcam because that’s how you can justify it as a work purchase order. I mean, wasn’t your boss just saying the other day that everyone in the office should have a webcam so it’s easier to communicate with other office branches? You’re such a good employee, I bet you already ordered this webcam so you can get a head start on your company confrontation, I mean, correspondence.

4 out of 5 stars.

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