You know, I don’t think kids stuff gets enough attention these days. I mean, sure there are a lot of video games and crazy electronic “learning” toys, but what about the simpler things? Whatever happened to the Slinky and the pet rock? Ok, maybe the pet rock was kinda lame, but what about other kids stuff that forced you to use your imagination instead of just sitting back and watching an elaborate production? Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books? That’s the kind of stuff I’m talking about! You know, visiting the land of make believe and such.
With the Jungle Table and Chair Set (Kids furniture, $154.00), your child can have mystical outings within the confines of his/her very own room. I mean, what could be more fun than pretending you’re on safari with your jungle friends? And for you naysayers out there who think this won’t facilitate learning – you’re so wrong. I mean, just think of all the questions this set could pose. What kinds of animals live in the jungle? Do pandas and lions live in the area of the jungle? Why is that elephant purple? Ok, maybe not that last one, but you get the point. The whole idea is to stop pacifying your kids and let them use their minds. By introducing this hand painted and assembled wooden table and chairs set, you’re inviting your child to learn and explore all at the same time. If you’re kid isn’t into the whole jungle theme, there’s also a Barnyard Table and Chair Set as well as a Noahs Ark Table and Chair Set.
I see a lion and a tiger, but where’s the bear? Do you think it was left out because they didn’t want people just walking in and saying, “Lions and tigers and bears. Oh my!” over and over? I think so.
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I’m always paranoid that I’m gonna get locked out of my house. I mean, I have no problem staying in my house by myself, but every time I walk out the door, I’m certain that I’ll end up standing outside the wrong side of a locked door. I could just be getting the mail, and I have to make sure that I take my keys out to the mailbox with me. It’s not that I don’t have a good relationship with my neighbors, but I really don’t want to have to fess up that I was dumb enough to lock myself out when I was taking out the trash. I especially don’t want to have to wake up my neighbors early on a Saturday morning, wearing nothing but my pjs, to ask if I can use their phone. It’s just not something on my to-do list.
So because I’m trying to minimize my embarrassment factor, I decided it might be high time to invest in the Locking Stor A Key (The Home Marketplace, $9.99). You know those magnetic key holders that people stick underneath their cars or in a tool chest? This is better. You know those fake rocks and animals that people use a hidden keyholders that they think are going to fool potential burglars from breaking into their house? This is totally better than those. The reason behind this key hider’s genius lies in the hidden combination lock attached to the front of it. I mean, sure you hope that someone won’t find where you’ve hidden your spare key, but what if they do? Those other contraptions aren’t going to help you. With a 3-digit combination lock, it’s going to just a little more difficult for them to just waltz on into your house. And this spare key holder is also magnetic so you can put it anywhere you might have put your old, inferior key hider. Don’t worry, it comes with double-side tape as well so you can mount it just about anywhere you like.
I’m super stoked about the possibility of regaining my dignity, now that I’m no longer going to be locked out of my house at inopportune moments. I mean, there’s nothing worse than knocking on your neighbor’s door after the whole family just got back from church, and you’re wearing nothing but today’s newspaper. Seriously, there’s nothing worse.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 3.25″ x 2.25″ x 1″
-Protective 3 digit combination lock cover
-Use magnet or double sided tape to mount (included)
As we covered yesterday, my brain refuses to retain information for longer than a nanosecond, so I have to resort to many different recollection methods. I usually make an obscene amount of lists, whether it’s traditional notepaper or jotted down on a Post-it. Then I transfer that note onto one of my many calendars. That’s right, I have more than one. In fact, if we’re just gonna lay it all out on the table, I have three. I know, it seems like insanity. Moreover, they’re all in the same general vicinity. Is it excessive? Perhaps, but it works for me. But since we’re about halfway through the year, I need to start scouting out next year’s timekeeper, lest I find myself scavenging stationary stores on New Year’s Day.
With the 108 Time Box (Generate Design, $25.00), I won’t have to worry about that for a very long time. That’s because this calendar spans nine years. You read that right – nine years! To be fair, this calendar does start its timeline in 2006 so you’re essentially losing three out of your nine years, but I’m willing to overlook that due to the awesomeness of it. Each of the 108 months has a unique design, which means that you’ll never get bored or regret your purchase (like that Best of Pugs calendar you bought a few years back). Since the calendar is one continuous roll and feeds through a small black or white box, it’s best suited for a desk or tabletop. When you’re done with each month, you can toss it or hang onto it for its artistic aesthetic.
Just think, you wouldn’t have to buy another calendar until 2015. 2015! Will they even use calendars that far into the future? Will all calendars have perished in the Great Calendar Fire of 2014? You could be a scheduling savior.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 4.3″ x 4.3″ x 4.3″
-Monthly calendar that spans 9 years
-Year span is from 2006-2015
-Each month has a unique design
-Box is available in black or white
I have an absolute terrible short term memory. Well, my long term memory actually isn’t that great either. So basically, I can’t remember shit. Which really sucks when I try to go out grocery shopping without a list because I always think that I can just run in real quick to get a few things, and that’s never the case. I just end up buying something I didn’t really need (I am quite the victim of impulse purchases), getting all the way home, and realizing that I forgot what I went to the store for in the first place. It’s pretty annoying. Not to mention time consuming. I’m a big fan of lists (when you have no memory, you pretty much have to write everything down), but I either forget to take them with me or misplace them. Clearly, I need some help.
Something like the To-Do Tattoo (Perpetual Kid, $3.49) is right up my alley. It’s a portable list without the hassle of paper. I mean, sure you could just write a note on your hand, high school style, but that’s a little ghetto, don’t you think? Why poison your skin with toxic markers that never come off long after you’ve fulfilled whatever agenda you had? Instead, with a temporary notepaper tattoo and a washable ink gel pen, you can have a semi-permanent list of your itinerary.
Think of it as an upgrade on the traditional note on hand. You can use it to pick up a few groceries or to remind you that your mom is coming over later and that you should probably clean up that hellhole you call an apartment (her words). Just don’t use it to cheat on a test. That’s not cool, man.
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Includes 12 “To-Do” forms and a skin safe washable ink gel pen
I have a friend who is always losing everything he owns. I mean, everything Dave ever touches suddenly disappears at the exact moment he needs it. Wallet? Oops, I guess you can’t go to the DMV today. Keys? Ditto. And it’s not like they’re right in front of his face or anything. It’s always gotta be someplace insanely weird, like the freezer or the bathtub. And you just kinda look at him and do that slow shake of the head, because no one knows how these things happen. You could try explaining that things like keys and wallets don’t have legs, and that someone must have put them in those places, but it’s no use. He’ll just maintain that he has no idea how these event occurred. I even tried getting him a whistle key finder, but then I found out that Dave couldn’t whistle. Tragic.
So now I’ve decided that what my friend really needs is the Human Key Holder (Wrapables, $24.95) before his keys end up in cereal box again. The reason I think this key holder will work better than any other is simple: it’s wall mounted. For those of you out there who don’t see the beauty in this idea, let me explain. If a key holder is mounted to the wall, you’re pretty much guaranteed to find your keys attached to it. Wall mounted means not finding your keys in the horseshoe pits again. The key holders come in either “His” or “Hers” styles and each comes with a key that fits into the center. All you have to do is attach this key your current keyring and you’re ready to stop losing your keys. Now I know this plan isn’t foolproof because you have to actually get your keys into the key holder, but I think that over time, you can establish a pattern of putting your key in the key holder as soon as you walk in the door. The key (pun intended) is mounting the key holder right next to your door so you see it as soon as you walk in the door and literally have no other choice but to hang up your keys at that moment. Otherwise, it’s back to being 20 minutes late for every appointment. Don’t worry, Dave, I think you can do it.
I know this won’t help him find his wallet, but I can only help with one problem at a time. He’s got other friends, he’ll be fine.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 3″ x 4.5″
-Available in “His” or “Hers” styles
-Included key attaches to your keyring and fits into the key holder
-Wall mounted
-Made of chrome plated zinc
