So you’re sitting on your front porch, trying to enjoy the beautiful outdoors with a couple of friends, but something keeps distracting you. You try to ignore it, but its persistence is, well, pretty damn persistent. Your friend is telling a funny story about what happened at the bar the other night. You’re straining to hear what he’s saying, but that noise consistently drowns out his words. Bzzzz! Bzzzz! BZZZZ! With each “bzzzz!” progressively louder than the next, it’s as if that tiny fly is laughing at you. “You must be enjoying your day off,” he seems to cackle. “I hope I’m not bothering you,” he sneers. Bzzzz! Bzzzz! BZZZZ! You’ve had enough. You’re not going to take this kind of abuse! You’re going to take a stand!

With the Fly-Goodbye Bug Vacuum Gun (ThinkGeek, $29.99), your attack will be calculated and accurate, with the option for a slow, painful death. Alright, so maybe I’ve painted an overly dramatic picture here, but you’ve got to admit that flying insects can be just a touch irritating. I’m not saying that you have to torture every creepy crawly that comes your way, but at least you know that you have the option. This vacuum gun is fully-loaded and ready to protect you and your loved ones. When you pull the trigger, a powerful gust of air sucks its target into the capture tube. From there, you just snap the top on and you’ve detained your first prisoner. Now, the kit includes three glue cartridges that work like your basic flypaper, so you can just suck those bugs up and leave them to starve. Otherwise, you can use the catch and release cartridge that will allow you to observe your bug through the magnifying glass top, and you can let it go when you’re done observing.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of bugs. In fact, one might say that I abhor them. But I don’t know if I could be down with letting them rot on a piece of sticky paper. Instead, I prefer to think of the catch and release cartridge as a time-out punishment zone for disobedient insects. I mean, it works with kids, right?

3 out of 5 stars.

Specs:

-Dimensions: 11″ x 4.5″ x 2.25″
-Includes suction cylinder, pistol grip, 3 glue cartridges, and 1 catch and release cartridge
-Catch and release cartridge has magnifying glass top