It seems like nobody uses good ole snail mail anymore. I mean, I know email is great because it’s super convenient and uber fast, but what about our fantastic postal service? Come on, who doesn’t enjoy a good piece of mail? Don’t you feel just a little bit special when you trek on out to the mailbox and you see something there with your name on it? Ok, so usually it’s a pre-approved credit card application, but what if it was something more? See, that’s why people need to start actually sending correspondence across the country via mailbag again. I hardly get any mail anymore that isn’t complete junk. I mean, I send away for free samples just so I can get a little surprise in the mailbox from time to time (although the free samples aren’t too shabby either). Won’t somebody please send me an itty bitty piece of mail?
If you’re looking for something to send me, I have to say that I would love to get the Carve Your Own Card (Nerd Seven, $11.95) in the mail. I mean, let’s break this down: it’s mail, so right away you’ve hit the jackpot, but it’s also something just a little bit different. Yes, it’s a postcard, but it’s not your average “I went on some lame vacation and I want to brag about it” postcard. No, this postcard lets you unleash your inner artist. Not only do you get to carve your own picture on the front, but you also etch your message on the back. Although it’s made from solid wood, it’s malleable enough that you can easily scratch a design into the surface. But because it’s regulation postcard size, it only needs a regular postcard stamp.
I would suggest planning out your design before you start carving away. I mean, it’s not like you get a do-over here. You’re kinda stuck with your design. Unless you’re really good at improvisation. Then you’re golden.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Carve your own message
-Easy to scratch/design
-Lightweight
-Regulation postcard size
-Made from solid wood
********************************UPDATE*******************************
The Shark Fin Ice Tray is now available for purchase in the United States! Just head on over to Perpetual Kid, where you can get this item for only $9.99!
*********************************************************************
I absolutely love to drink ice water. I know for most people water isn’t really the tastiest of beverages, but I’m telling you, the secret is ice. I think if you can at least tolerate drinking water, then this trick will work for you. I mean, who wants to drink lukewarm water? Nobody, that’s who. Even soda tastes like crap when you let it sit around and get room temperature, so why would you try to drink warm water? Come to think of it, most drinks only taste good in two temperatures: hot or cold. Hot coffee? Good. Iced coffee? Yum. Hot coffee that has cooled off? Yuck. Iced coffee that has melted? No thanks. Basically, the mere absence or presence of ice is a drink necessity.
Since it’s summertime, we’ll focus on the presence of ice and how the Shark Fin Ice Tray (Drinkstuff, £6.98) can impact your frosty beverages. First off, you’ve got ice in your glass, so good for you. Secondly, how can you not love this ice cube tray?! Just looking at it, with its shark fin molds and bite marks on the corners, makes one word come to mind: AWESOME. Yes, you only get five shark fins per ice tray, but it’s not like these things are breaking the bank and you can’t afford to buy another one or two (or eight, in my case). And I’m not complaining, but the shark fins do need a minute or two to settle into their upright Jaws-esque positions. My one little teeny complaint? You can’t get these things in the US or Canada.
Just think about how cool (pun intended) your next party would be with this ice cube tray. I mean, you could tell your guests about this totally boss ice cube tray you got, but that wouldn’t take all the fun out of it? No, instead I think you should whip these out when no one’s looking. Create a diversion of some sort. Maybe even make a movie about sharks attacking people at the beach, that’ll really get everyone’s attention. Then put their drinks in front of them, complete with floating shark fins. Make sure you have to camera ready to document their reactions.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 50mm x 180mm x 110mm
-Weight: 100g
-Novelty ice tray
-Produces 5 shark fin shaped ice cubes
-Tray made of blue silicone
-Ice fins may need a few minutes to settle before staying upright
-Not available for delivery in US or Canada
Remember my friend who can never find his shit? I think we dubbed him Dave or Derek, or something of that nature. For today’s purposes though, let’s go with something a little dark and mysterious: Drago. So Drago can basically lose anything he can get his hands on. One minute he’s holding his keys, the next moment they’re nowhere to be found. And Drago just can’t seem to figure out how it happens. Keys, wallet, phone – any of these items are subject to a mysterious disappearance about a dozen times a day. Now, I tried to hook Drago up by getting him the Human Key Holder and that seemed to help him out with his keys for awhile, but then Drago just went back to his key misplacing days. And don’t even get me started on the whereabouts of his wallet. I even got Drago a whistle key finder, only to find out that he couldn’t whistle. I’m really reaching the end of my rope here.
I’m putting it all on the line in one more last-ditch effort with the Smart Finder 4-in-1 (Convenient Gadgets & Gifts, $34.95). I’m hoping that with a remote control transmitter and four receivers that Drago can safely track the locations of up to four of his most prized possessions. All he has to do is pick his top four and affix the receivers to them. The receivers can either be looped on through a key ring or affixed with the included double-sided adhesive pads. Now, he will have to remember which color transmits to which receiver, but since Drago has trouble in that area, I would recommend writing it down on the transmitter itself. The transmitter comes with a sucker hook so you can stick it someplace that you’ll be sure to always see it, like the window or the fridge. So Drago, I want you to pay attention now: all you have to do to find the missing item is press the color-coded transmitter for the specific item. Because the transmitter can send radio signals through walls and floors up to 30 meters away, you should be able to find just about anything within that radius. Once you’ve held the color button down for about five seconds, the object will emit an 85 decibel alarm on the receiver, which will alert you to its position.
Drago, I’m begging you, this has to work. Maybe then we can finally get the bar before last call because we won’t have to wait for you to find your wallet that contains your ID. Or maybe we’ll make our reservation at Ruth Chris because we won’t have to wait an hour and a half for you to locate your keys. Come on, let’s make these dreams come true. I’m sure your friends, family, and coworkers will thank you.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 1 5/8″ x 1 5/8″ x 1/4″ (receivers)
-Includes remotes control transmitter, four receivers, four double sided adhesive pads, and a sucker hook
-Transmitter can send radio signal through walls and floors up to 30 meters away
-Transmitter activates 85 decibel alarm on receiver
-Hold down color button for up to 5 seconds until the object beeps
-Low battery warning
So you’re sitting on your front porch, trying to enjoy the beautiful outdoors with a couple of friends, but something keeps distracting you. You try to ignore it, but its persistence is, well, pretty damn persistent. Your friend is telling a funny story about what happened at the bar the other night. You’re straining to hear what he’s saying, but that noise consistently drowns out his words. Bzzzz! Bzzzz! BZZZZ! With each “bzzzz!” progressively louder than the next, it’s as if that tiny fly is laughing at you. “You must be enjoying your day off,” he seems to cackle. “I hope I’m not bothering you,” he sneers. Bzzzz! Bzzzz! BZZZZ! You’ve had enough. You’re not going to take this kind of abuse! You’re going to take a stand!
With the Fly-Goodbye Bug Vacuum Gun (ThinkGeek, $29.99), your attack will be calculated and accurate, with the option for a slow, painful death. Alright, so maybe I’ve painted an overly dramatic picture here, but you’ve got to admit that flying insects can be just a touch irritating. I’m not saying that you have to torture every creepy crawly that comes your way, but at least you know that you have the option. This vacuum gun is fully-loaded and ready to protect you and your loved ones. When you pull the trigger, a powerful gust of air sucks its target into the capture tube. From there, you just snap the top on and you’ve detained your first prisoner. Now, the kit includes three glue cartridges that work like your basic flypaper, so you can just suck those bugs up and leave them to starve. Otherwise, you can use the catch and release cartridge that will allow you to observe your bug through the magnifying glass top, and you can let it go when you’re done observing.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of bugs. In fact, one might say that I abhor them. But I don’t know if I could be down with letting them rot on a piece of sticky paper. Instead, I prefer to think of the catch and release cartridge as a time-out punishment zone for disobedient insects. I mean, it works with kids, right?
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 11″ x 4.5″ x 2.25″
-Includes suction cylinder, pistol grip, 3 glue cartridges, and 1 catch and release cartridge
-Catch and release cartridge has magnifying glass top
If I had the space, I would have a kickin’ game room. I mean, I would go all out and just cram every piece of gaming equipment that I could find into the room. Now, I’m not talking about your video games, although vintage arcade cabinets and pinball machines would be more than welcome, No, I mean your old school classics, like billiards, darts, and most of all, ping pong. Oh man, if I could be rocking some ping pong on a daily basis, I think my life would be complete. The whole problem with this scenario? I don’t have the space for a ping pong table, let alone all those other things.
There’s someone out there that understands your plight, which is why the Dining Table Ping Pong Set (Perpetual Kid, $27.99) was invented. This dude must have known how excruciating it is to live a ping pong free existence, but also that some people have shitty jobs and are forced to pay astronomical sums for 1-bedroom studio apartments. Anyways, the point is that with this set you can transform any table into a ping pong table. Now, of course you’re gonna want to go with the biggest table you can find so you can get as close as possible to regulation length, but that’s just details. The set come with everything you need to make your ping pong dreams come true, including two paddles, two balls, two wrist bands, a net, a rulebook, and two steel posts with padded clamps. The last part is pretty important because it’s the two steel posts that make your ping pong playing possible. The steel posts clamp onto the table and allow you to affix the net on each side. Then it’s instantly ping pong time!
Hey, maybe you don’t live in some tiny apartment, but instead you’re stuck living with your parents while you save up for your own place. And not that there’s anything wrong with that or that your parents aren’t super cool, but sometimes you’ve gotta admit that they cramp your style every now and then. You know, like when your mom won’t let you put a ping pong table in your room instead of a bed. I mean, you told her you didn’t need a bed and could just sleep under the table, but would she listen? No. But now you can turn her dining room into a ping pong tournament area and have it all taken down by the time she gets home from work, without her being any the wiser. Awww yeah!
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 10.5″ x 2″ x 6.5″ (carrying case)
-Includes 2 tennis paddles, 2 balls, 2 steel posts with padded clamps, 2 wrist bands, rulebook, and a full size net
-Comes packed neatly in a metal carrying case
-Turns any full size table into a ping pong table
