Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just tell your electronics to do something and they would obey? I mean, I thought technology would have advanced to the point where gadgets could be controlled with our minds – isn’t that what movies have been promising us for years? The elusive year 2000 was supposed to bring about indescribable technological advances that would blow the minds of the common man. Instead, most of us went from not being able to set the clocks on our VCR to not being about to set the clock on our DVD player (some of us are even lucky enough to be unable to set the clock on our Blu-ray player). There’s got to be some sort of scientific breakthrough that’s more useful than Twitter and, most importantly, doesn’t result in Skynet becoming self-aware.
The Moshi Voice Activated Alarm Clock (ThinkGeek, $24.99-$39.99) is just smart enough, able to respond to a multitude of commands without the good sense to tell you to stop being so lazy and do it yourself. But that’s a good thing, at least for you and me. Not only does Moshi talk to you, but it actually understands what you’re saying. All you have to do is preface each command with “Hello, Moshi,” and Moshi is ready to go. Moshi can do such things as announce the time, date, or temperature as well as set alarms, change the time, and even turn on a night light. Available in both desktop and travel versions, you can take Moshi pretty much anywhere. Just think about it: you’re working on an intense project, but you have someplace to be at 3:30. So instead of looking up from your work, thus interrupting the creative process, you simply ask Moshi the time and Moshi tells you. It doesn’t get much easier than that.
Weren’t we supposed to be able to teleport by now? Or, at the very least, have some sort of flying car? This whole lack of transportation innovation is really a downer.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 8″ x 4″ x 5″ (desktop)
3.75″ x 2.75″ x 1″ (travel)
-Voice controlled
-Announces date, time, temperature, and alarms
-Controlled by voice commands
-Uses 3 AAA batteries (not included)
-Desktop clock also operates on AC/DC power
A lot of us like to pretend that we don’t have a problem getting out of bed in the morning. We use every excuse in the book, including the old standby “I just really like to sleep.” Yeah, who doesn’t? There are some people out there who aren’t going to get out of bed when their alarm goes off the first time, no matter if they got three or thirteen hours of sleep the night before. These are the kinds of people who have a personal relationship with the snooze button, one that they celebrate at least three or four times every morning. It’s time to break up with your snooze button and, like most destructive relationships, it’s best to go cold turkey.
Not only are you without a snooze button, but with the Alien Hunt Alarm Clock (ThinkGeek, $18.99) you’ll have to defend your life (and our planet) from extraterrestrials. I know what you’re thinking, that aliens aren’t real and this is completely ridiculous. Are you sure about that? That’s what I thought, so maybe you should listen up. Once your alarm goes off, it’s time to get to work. Unlike last time, when that alien pops out of his egg protector you’ll be ready. The alarm goes off and you spring into action, swiftly picking up your laser light gun. The only way to silence the alien and defeat these creatures is to shoot the alarm clock, which you do with dazzling precision. Earth is safe once again, and it’s all thanks to you. But remember, if you go back to sleep, the aliens win. So it’s probably best to get out of bed.
Even if you don’t believe in alternate life forms, you’ve gotta admit that it would be pretty freaking scary to wake up to a screeching alien every morning. But if that’s what it takes to get your sorry keaster out of bed, then that’s just something you’re gonna have to learn to live with.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Includes light gun
-Alien pops out of egg when alarm goes off
-Shoot alien to shut off alarm
-Uses 5 AAA batteries and 1 LR44 button battery
-Batteries not included
-Designed in the UK
You ever have those days when you just want to stay in bed forever? Maybe you have a sixth sense that today is going to be terrible and, instead of getting up, you should do everything from bed. You know, like John and Yoko (but probably with a lot less publicity and notoriety). Alas, you’re no John and Yoko; you have a job, bills, and other responsibilities to attend to that cannot be accomplished within the confines of your down comforter. So you’re gonna get up, right? Ok, so in five more minutes, you’re gonna get up, right? Five more minutes, five more minutes, five more minutes…before you know it, you’re an hour late for work and you still haven’t gotten out of bed.
Quick, disable the Danger Bomb Alarm Clock (ThinkGeek, $34.99) before it blows! Alright, it might not be a real bomb that’s going to explode in your bedroom, but it will emit obnoxious sounds over and over until you disarm it. See, you set the alarm for the time you need to get up and make sure to “arm” it the night before. It’ll start beeping at that time, warning you to defuse the bomb before it “explodes” next to your head. You do that by unplugging one of the three wires on the front of the clock. But how are you supposed to know which wire to cut? Relax, the clock is equipped with three LED lights that correspond to each of the colored wires. All you have to do is see which LED is lit up and unplug that same colored wire. What happens if you’re too lazy or still half asleep and can’t reach that wire in time? The clock will start a countdown in Japanese (so you better brush up on your foreign languages if you plan on oversleeping), letting you know that the bomb will explode in 10 seconds. If you don’t disarm it in that timeframe or you somehow manage to unplug the wrong wire, KABOOM! Well, not really, but the clock will make explosion noises over and over that you can’t stop no matter what you do.
I don’t think this clock would be that difficult to turn off, as long as you have a firm grasp of your fine motor skills. The really interesting part would be setting the clock as all of the included instructions are in Japanese. I would just say you’re screwed, but ThinkGeek was nice enough to include a list of instructions (in English) on their site.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Look like a bomb
-Bomb must be defused to shut off alarm
-Wrong wire choice causes loud explosion noise
-Waiting too long causes loud explosion noise
-Needs 3 AA batteries (not included)
-Refer to site for setup directions
-Imported from Japan
Sorry about the lack of updates this week (family emergency), but check back next week for all new posts!
Why is it that you never seem to have anything when you truly need it? When you’re out in the middle of nowhere, completely lost, is your phone charged? You can bet that battery is dead. How about your GPS? Can’t find a signal (or at least that’s what it would say if the battery wasn’t dead). You know, I have a flashlight in my glove compartment, in case of emergencies. I took it out the other day while looking for something else and guess what? It doesn’t work. Something tells me this is going to be a problem sometime in the future.
I’m thinking that maybe my best bet for actually being prepared in an emergency is getting something that barely requires any advanced thinking. The 9 Volts (Generate Design, $25.00) is a pretty straightforward contraption – it’s a small light that runs off a single 9 Volt battery. That’s it. Doesn’t get much more simple than that, now does it? This little guy houses two super bright LED lights that, due to a clever tilt switch, automatically turn on when the gadget stands upright. Likewise, if you lay the device on its side, the light will automatically turn off. Available in red or blue, the light color is only visible when the apparatus is in use. Otherwise, both models appear to be bright white while in the off position.
Sure, this might not solve all my problems…ok, it’s definitely not going to solve all my problems, but it might just help me out when I need to read a map or get lost while camping in the woods. Gotcha! Like I’d ever go camping! Haven’t you people been paying attention at all? That map thing is a hell of a lot more likely. In fact, consulting a map while on the way to Mars is a lot more likely than me going camping, but that’s another story.
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 1″ x 0.5″ x 1.75″
-2 LED lights
-Fits any standard 9 Volt battery (included)
-Tilt switch turns light on when standing up, turns light off when on its side
-Appears white when in off position
-Available in red or blue
-Made of acrylic
