From geeks and techies to home decor and personal well being, we’ve covered quite a few gift ideas for this holiday season. However, if you’re still desperate for some ideas, check out last year’s December archive. Since there’s only 9 days left until Christmas, I thought I would take one topic and break it down for you, namely Christmas hats. So without further ado, here’s a Top 10 List – Christmas Hat Edition, courtesy of Amazon’s wonderful Christmas hat selection:

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Starting off our countdown is the Green & Red Santa Claus Helper Elf Christmas Sequin Hat ($7.99). Right away, you should be able to tell that this is an exceptionally terrible Christmas hat – just look at the super long name. I mean, how many Christmas buzz words could they throw in there? All that’s really missing is “Rudolph” or “Frosty” because, let’s face it, nothing about this hat really screams Christmas, much less Santa or Elf.
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Next up is the Tree Hat with Presents ($3.50), which is slightly better in that it actually pertains to the holiday in question. Upon closer inspection, it’s a little light on the holiday spirit. I mean, it’s a pretty sad looking tree if you ask me. Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree had more holiday spirit than this hat.
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The Felt Elf Hat w/ Bells ($6.99) actually isn’t that bad. Here’s a Christmas hat that someone could actually wear without feeling, or looking, like too much of a tool. Alas, that is not the point of this list. I mean, you’re gonna look like a tool, so why not go all the way? You can do better than a curly hat with a few little bells on it!
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Ok, you got me, Rudolph’s Holiday Flashing Reindeer Nose ($2.99) isn’t actually a hat. It is a headwear accessory though, so I’m counting it. And it’s my list, so I can do whatever I want. I personally love this flashing nose because it’s pretty much minimal effort, but there’s no way that anyone is gonna pass by you without noticing your flashing red nose. Then why is it all the way down at #7? It’s been pointed out that wearing a flashing nose strapped to your face can be a touch uncomfortable, and while the perfect Christmas hat should ruin your social stature, physical pain is not required.
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Actually, I was wrong, the title of most minimal effort headwear has to go to the Christmas Holiday Reindeer Antlers Headband ($1.99). Pretty much anyone can pull this look off, regardless of age, gender, or intelligence. But height is one possible hurdle to overcome when wearing this, especially if you’re tall. You’ll have to duck through doorways to make sure you don’t knock this beauty off your head, and let’s be honest, you look ridiculous enough already.
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Rounding out the Top 5 is the Plush Santa Chimney Hat ($9.99). Silly? Yes. Slightly adorable? I have to agree that yes, yes it is. I really don’t have anything sarcastic to say about this hat. Sure, you’ll look like an idiot wearing it, but no more so than if you wore a traditional Santa hat.
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If you want to look like a total imbecile, then the Deluxe Rasta Santa Hat ($21.99) is the way to go. First off, was there a regular Rasta Santa Hat that just wasn’t cutting it so they had to create a “deluxe” version? Also, who’s paying almost $25 for a hat this terrible? The whole hat with dreads look is so not attractive, not to mention completely dated. If you purchase this, please let the only reason be a gag gift.
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Remember how that last elf hat wasn’t cutting it? The Elf Hat with Ears ($6.49) may not have bells, but it does sound a lot more appealing. In case you missed that clever pun, I’m talking about the ears. Elf ears will always trump bells. You could put bells on anything and it’s not necessarily Christmas, but throw some elf ears on there, and we’re in business. Yes, it’s a little less flashy than most hats on this list, but I prefer to think of it as understated elegance, with elf ears.
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8 words: Red Santa Pimp Hat with White Fur Trim ($9.48). 2 more words: Freaking Ridiculous. I have more than a few questions about this hat. Seriously, who’s wearing this? Are pimps wearing this? Are pimps known for being particularly into Christmas? How in the name of Rudolph is this girl smiling while wearing this hat? If you were looking to show up to Christmas dinner wearing something wildly inappropriate and blatantly stupid, I do believe you’ve found it.
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Here we are, at the #1 Christmas Hat: the Springy Mistletoe Headband ($7.99)! This hat is the epitome of Christmas spirit – I mean, what’s better than portable mistletoe? Ok, so it’s totally absurd, but in a completely positive way. There’s no way you thought that you were gonna fly under the radar while wearing a Christmas hat, but it’s important to pick the right one. This one is full of holiday cheer, easy to wear, adequately priced, and you might even get some action while wearing it. Hands down, the winner.
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