Attention all geeks: I have found your new favorite gadget! I mean, it’s not really that hard to figure out why Star Wars fans out there would love the Voice Activated R2-D2 (Hammacher Schlemmer, $199.95), but let me try to break it down for you oblivious non-geeks out there.
First of all, it’s R2-D2. You’re clearly not a fan if you even need more than that for an explanation of awesomeness, but we’ll delve a little further to humor you. R2-D2 responds to over 40 voice commands as well as answer yes or no questions. He’s also adept at navigating rooms and hallways, through the use of an infrared sensor. This same sensor allows him to search for people in a room, follow behind you, or detect motion. He can replay sounds and dialog from the Star Wars movies and even dance while playing cantina music. My favorite part about R2-D2? He can play games, like tag. You heard me right, I said you can play tag with R2-D2! And I’m not talking about when you pretend to play tag with your other inanimate objects (you invariably always win) because R2-D2 will actually interact with you. There’s no way you can pretend like that isn’t the coolest thing you’ve ever heard. Go ahead, just try to deny it.
Sure, you’re gonna have to drop some serious coinage on this little guy, but it’s totally worth it. Well, at least it would be to a real Star Wars fan. All you other losers out there shouldn’t even bother. I bet R2-D2 wouldn’t even want to be your friend. That’s right, I went there.
5 out of 5 droid stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 15″ x 7.5″ x 10.5″
-Weight: 6 lbs
-Obeys more than 40 voice commands
-Can answer yes/no questions
-Replays sounds and dialog from Star Wars movies
-Dances while playing cantina music
-Navigates rooms and hallways
-Requires 4 AA batteries and 4 D batteries (not included)
-Minor assembly required
It’s been awhile since dinnertime was an exciting event. And by a long time, I mean it’s basically never been all that thrilling. Especially when you’re a kid and you’re forced to sit through excruciatingly boring dinner conversations that are way over your head, dinner seems to last forever. There’s nothing to do but sit there and stare at your plate, full of disgusting foods you don’t want to eat. Brussel spouts again? Really, Mom? And to top it all off, they won’t even let you leave the table! You’re just supposed to suffer through talk of Uncle Dave’s colonoscopy and Aunt Gert’s festering boils (your family has a lot of medical ailments, apparently). This is an outrage!
For those of us who demand to be entertained at the dinner table but cannot afford quality dinner theater, the Food Face Dinner Plate (Perpetual Kid, $10.99) will surely suffice.Remember Woolly Willy? Such a simple concept, but that bald man provided us with hours of hilarious enjoyment. This plate employ that same idea, namely dressing up a bald, beardless man, but with food instead of magnetic shavings. Not only does this plate provide hours (yes, I said hours) of endless entertainment, but the possibilities really are infinite! I mean, depending on what your dinner consists of, you could have a mashed potatoes beard, roast beef hair, and carrots for eyebrows. Or maybe you want to go the traditional route and do spaghetti hair and marinara sauce lipstick – that’s what I think when I hear the word “traditional.” And don’t worry about overuse because this plate is made of high-fire ceramics, designed to withstand many, many, many character transitions.
These plates are actually my fine china, only I use them all the time instead of just on special occasions. On holidays, I like to take them out and challenge my guests to a Face Decorating Contest. Best use of food as art wins a Maserati. That’s just how I roll.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 8.5″ diameter
-One plate
-Ceramic
During this holiday season, were there some things that you asked for but didn’t get? Don’t you just hate that? Somebody asks you to make them a list of possible gift ideas, and then they don’t get you one item off that list. It’s like they wanted to know what you wanted for the sheer idea of expressing avoiding any of those items. There are some people though who can go off book and still manage to come up with the most awesome gifts imaginable. Depending on your point of view, this may or may not be one of those times.
One thing’s for sure, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Funky Cozy (Hot Topic, $28.00) is definitely not your usual holiday gift fare. Essentially the same as a Snuggie, this “Funky Cozy” helps keep you warm while lounging yet still allowing for freedom of mobility. Lazy people everywhere are rejoicing now that they can cozy up on the couch dressed as their favorite turtle teen idol. I mean, how else are you supposed to stay bundled up while eating your ramen? Available in one size, there’s sure to be enough slanket to cover your shivering self. Just be sure you don’t sit too close to the fire because this baby’s made of 100% polyester – not even Splinter could save you from the flames.
Curiously enough, this “Funky Cozy” is only available in three out of four ninja turtles. Even stranger, the ostracized turtle is not Raphael (he is the moodiest of the bunch), but rather Michelangelo. What did Michelangelo ever do to deserve such a snub? It is quite possible that he’s so popular and is currently unavailable, but I think there’s a conspiracy afoot. And I bet we all know who’s behind this one…Oroku Saki!
5 out of 5 ridiculously obvious Snuggie rip-off stars.
Specs:
-Choose from Leonardo, Donatello, or Raphael
-Care instructions: wash cold, dry low
-One size
-Made of 100% polyester
A lot of room decor is pretty boring. I mean, you could go with the standard coat of paint and a few pictures hung on the wall, but where’s the fun in that? Sure, it might seem classier than some crazy compilation of unrelated objects, but it’s not nearly as interesting. You may have to compromise on your idea of a sophisticated pad, but I think you’ll find that it’s totally worth it. Don’t you want your friends to come over to your place for the first time and just be totally wowed? I thought so.
Nintendo Wall Graphics (ThinkGeek) are the perfect way to spice up your home decor, without breaking the bank or ruining your home structure. The beauty of these vinyl wall decals is that they’re easily restickable and removable. So if you put a few up in the hallway and then decide that they’d look better in the guest room, no problem. All you have to do is pull them off the wall (carefully!) and affix them to the new spot. They don’t leave behind any residue and, more importantly for renters, they won’t tear off chunks of paint when removed. Each package comes with three 26″ x 40″ sheets of decals, amounting to dozens of decals per package. You can use the package to create one giant scene, split them up into smaller vignettes, or get a few packages and go to town on the whole house.
These decals come in three different sets: Donkey Kong, Super Mario Bros, and New Super Mario Bros. For me, it’s no contest – I’ve gotta go with the original Super Mario Bros. I mean, is there anything better than that 15 pixel Mario running around trying to save the princess? I didn’t think so.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Prices:
Donkey Kong: $49.99
Super Mario Bros: $69.99
New Super Mario Bros: $69.99
-Includes three 26″ x 40″ sheets of decals
-Restickable vinyl wall decals
-Dozens of removable decals in each package
-3 sets to choose from: Donkey Kong, Super Mario Bros, New Super Mario Bros
Today we’re going to focus our Christmas shopping agenda on the geek in your life. And if you think that your life is geek-free, then you’re sorely mistaken. Everyone knows that one person whose interests definitively fall into the geek category, although their severity of geekdom can vary. For instance, perhaps you’re friends with a pocket protector off the charts smarty pants geek, who is distinctly different from an action figure collector geek. Our geek of choice for today is one of the most popular geeks out there: the Star Wars geek. Sure, who doesn’t love Star Wars? But there are some folks out there who cross the line into geekdom, with their Boba Fett hoodies and Yoda tree toppers. For them, Star Wars fandom is more than just a hobby, it’s a way of life.
If you really want to impress the Star Wars geek in your life, then the Tauntaun Sleeping Bag (ThinkGeek, $99.99) is the gift of the year, nay the CENTURY. What started as a fake product practical joke (ThinkGeek’s twisted sense of humor that threatened to crush the souls of many young men) has turned into a tangible item for the average geek and seasoned collector alike. Now, at just under $100, we are tipping the scales toward extreme geekdom, but those geeks out there will tell you that money is no object when it comes to owning a Tauntaun replica. For those of you living under a rock for the past quarter of a century, a Tauntaun is the animal that Han slices open and shoves Luke into so he doesn’t freeze to death in “The Empire Strikes Back.” Sure, it was a little gross and most definitely stank to high heaven, but hey, Luke lived so it’s all good. This sleeping bag features simulated Tauntaun fur on the outside and a printed intestines pattern on the inside. It’s not like those other lame sleeping bags that just have a print embroidered on the outside – this one has a Tauntaun head for a pillow as well as arms, legs, and a tail. And remember how Han sliced the dead Tauntaun open with his Lightsaber? Well, this sleeping bag even has a plush Lightsaber zipper pull so you can pretend you’re slicing and dicing your own Tauntaun every time you open up this bad boy.
“This may smell bad, kid, but it’ll keep you warm until I get the shelter up.”
5 out of 5 geek stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 33″ x 67″ (not including head pillow or legs)
-One size fits all
-For indoor use only
-Not suitable for children under age 3
-Fully licensed Lucasfilm Collectible
-Printed intestines on inside of sleeping bag
-Plush Lightsaber zipper pull
-Built in embroidered Tauntaun head pillow
-Made of 100% polyester
-Machine washable
