So now that we’ve talked and talked about what cutesy things you can get your sugarlips for Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be only fair to suggest an item for those not looking forward to the card company holiday. Now, I’m not saying that these unattached people are bitter and full of hate…but, deep down, that’s probably the case. They don’t want hearts and flowers adorning every surface of their home and workplace. Whether these people simply want the holiday to pass by unnoticed or are truly out for blood due to a relationship betrayal, I think we can all agree that a box of chocolates is not an appropriate Valentine’s Day gift for your single friends.
If your possible gift recipient is on the warpath this Valentine’s Day, then the Ex Skewer Set (Perpetual Kid, $59.99) is the perfect gift for him/her. Not only is the set perfect for entertaining at parties, but it has a nice voodoo doll quality to it as well. The set includes a small dipping bowl inset in a larger bowl. The top of the small bowl is a figure pierced with 12 stainless steel skewers, allowing the dip to be covered when not in use. Come on, what better way to vent your frustrations than with a harmless figure with skewers sticking out of its body? Perfect for those “Valentine’s Day Sucks” parties, your guests can spear the figure over and over for hours of enjoyment. Oh, and I guess they could occasionally use the skewers to stab cheese cubes, olives, or any other small dippable appetizer.
Mmm, nothing like spending an afternoon sticking skewers into a makeshift voodoo doll. That pretty much describes my weekend.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 12″ x 9″
-Includes 12 stainless steel skewers
-Ex figure is detachable to reveal dip bowl
-Available in white only
-Made of ABS plastic
-Hand wash
Alright, alright, so I may have noted my displeasure for the so-called holiday that is rapidly approaching, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to ignore it entirely. I’ve tried – it didn’t end well. So I’m sorry to say, but there’s gonna be a bit of cutesy item coverage for the next couple of weeks. I’ll do my best to find fun, spiteful items like last week’s Bittersweets, but occasionally I will have to bow to the masses and humor all the lovebirds out there. Now, without further ado…
The Heart Egg Molder (Perpetual Kid, $5.99) is a good way to jump into all this Valentine’s Day nonsense without going overboard. While making a heart-shaped omelet or eggs-in-a-basket (as shown) for your sweetie pie is nauseatingly adorable, it’s not the only way to enjoy fun shaped breakfast items. Perhaps you just enjoy a tasty breakfast and you’d like to liven it up a bit. You know, start your day off on a positive note, knowing that your eggs and toast will always be there for you (unlike your shady ex). Or maybe you know someone who’s a big fan of food (aren’t we all?) so they’d totally eggpreciate (!) such a thoughtful gesture. And then, there are those people out there who want to buy this contraption as some sort of salute to a ridiculous “holiday” – that’s cool too, I’m not judging.
Still taking suggestions for that singles only holiday – we need a name, a date, and a way to celebrate. Scratch that, I think I know how the celebration will go.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 5″ x 6.5″
We’ve covered a lot of cool kitchen gadgets on here, but my favorites are the ones that are so obvious, yet took forever for someone to invent. I mean, I cook all the time and can come up with about a thousand things that I would love a new gadget to make easier. But nothing ever comes of it. I just continue with my same routine, much like all of you out there, cursing that pot of boiling water when it burns me for the umpteenth time. Seriously, every time I’m boiling potatoes I cringe as I put them in the pot because I know that scalding backsplash is coming. And then I think, if only there were some way I could live a potato-filled existence without constantly burning myself!
Thank the heavens above! The Foodpod Cooking Vessel (Wrapables, $14.95) has heard of my plight and has come to rescue my fingertips from blistering! When I first saw this strange contraption, I didn’t quite understand its genius – I mean, it just looks like some weird silicone pod. What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Upon closer inspection, I realized that this strange contraption was my cooking savior. Used primarily for boiling, this pod also works great for blanching and steaming a variety of foods. All you have to do is put your food in the pod, close the lid, and pop the pod in a pot of boiling water. Your foods will cook quickly and evenly, but more importantly, you won’t burn yourself on hot water backsplash because you’re not dropping small items into a giant empty pot.
Just think of all the foods you can now cook without burning yourself – eggs, red potatoes, broccoli, or shellfish. And I’m not just suggesting those because they’re featured in the four photos directly at the bottom of this post. Oh wait, that’s exactly why I’m using those examples.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 9″ x 9″ x 9″
-Nonstick
-Built in grip clip
-Easy to use
-Ensures even cooking
-Time saving
-Top rack dishwasher safe
-Made of silicone
It’s been awhile since dinnertime was an exciting event. And by a long time, I mean it’s basically never been all that thrilling. Especially when you’re a kid and you’re forced to sit through excruciatingly boring dinner conversations that are way over your head, dinner seems to last forever. There’s nothing to do but sit there and stare at your plate, full of disgusting foods you don’t want to eat. Brussel spouts again? Really, Mom? And to top it all off, they won’t even let you leave the table! You’re just supposed to suffer through talk of Uncle Dave’s colonoscopy and Aunt Gert’s festering boils (your family has a lot of medical ailments, apparently). This is an outrage!
For those of us who demand to be entertained at the dinner table but cannot afford quality dinner theater, the Food Face Dinner Plate (Perpetual Kid, $10.99) will surely suffice.Remember Woolly Willy? Such a simple concept, but that bald man provided us with hours of hilarious enjoyment. This plate employ that same idea, namely dressing up a bald, beardless man, but with food instead of magnetic shavings. Not only does this plate provide hours (yes, I said hours) of endless entertainment, but the possibilities really are infinite! I mean, depending on what your dinner consists of, you could have a mashed potatoes beard, roast beef hair, and carrots for eyebrows. Or maybe you want to go the traditional route and do spaghetti hair and marinara sauce lipstick – that’s what I think when I hear the word “traditional.” And don’t worry about overuse because this plate is made of high-fire ceramics, designed to withstand many, many, many character transitions.
These plates are actually my fine china, only I use them all the time instead of just on special occasions. On holidays, I like to take them out and challenge my guests to a Face Decorating Contest. Best use of food as art wins a Maserati. That’s just how I roll.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 8.5″ diameter
-One plate
-Ceramic
There’s been a lot of Christmas talk these past few weeks, but it seems like we’ve left someone out. I don’t want you to think that we forgot about the little one in your life! Today, we’re going to focus on what your daughter, niece, cousin, or really any child with an affinity for sweets would like this holiday season. I think the best thing about tasty holiday treats, besides how delicious they are, is their festiveness. Although a holiday cupcake’s high level of festivity tends to drastically decrease its lifespan, it’s still a good thing (maybe not for the cupcake).
The Mini Cupcake Maker (Perpetual Kid, $29.99) is basically an Easy-Bake oven, but so much cooler. For one, you’re not cooking with the heat of a light bulb so it’s a lot faster – think just five minutes for each batch. Also, you don’t have to use those expensive specially packaged ingredients. Instead, you can pick your baking materials at whim, creating cupcakes, muffins, and even brownies in just about any flavor you can think of. My favorite part? The whole thing is covered in a nonstick coating, so cleaning up is amazingly easy. That’s right, easy cleanup is exciting to me. Deal with it.
Ok, so while this would be a great gift for a child (supervised, of course) or tween, I think adults would really enjoy it as well. I say that mostly because I love cupcakes and would be more inclined to make them if it was this easy. Kids, now you know what to get your mother for Christmas.
4 out of 5 easy baking stars.
Specs:
-Makes 7 cupcakes at a time
-Takes only 5 minutes to bake
-Nonstick baking tray
-Also great for muffins and brownies
