Do you ever wonder what your pets do all day when you’re not there? I don’t. I mean, I don’t have to wonder because I’m pretty sure there’s a fair amount of sleeping going on, only to be interrupted by doing things they’re not supposed to do. I know this because I come home to paw prints on my countertops and napkins hit off the top of my refrigerator. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the reason why my cats are so tired when I get home is because they’ve been running around my house and exhibiting general tomfoolery in my absence. Still, it might be nice to have some hard evidence so that the next time I’m chastising my animals, I know exactly which one is to blame for the current state of disarray in my home.
The best way to find out what your pet’s been up to all day is to stick the Pets Eye View Camera (NerdSeven, $39.95) on their collar. Because this webcam-like device attaches to your pet’s collar, it records their daily activities from their own viewpoint. You can set the camera to shoot every one, five, or fifteen minutes and it can store up to 40 photos internally. So next time you want to know who’s responsible for chewing up your homework, Scruffy or Whiskers will have the photographic evidence to solve the case.
Personally, I’m not sure how well this will really work out. I mean, I bet my cats are sleeping all day. I would probably come home expecting to uncover some great mystery, only to find that Whiskers hasn’t moved from the couch all day. If I sound jealous, it’s because I am.
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Resolution: 640 x 480
-Camera can shoot every 1, 5, or 15 minutes
-Stores 40 photos internally
-PC and Mac compatible
-Rechargeable Li ion battery included
-USB cable included
-Only use flat collars at least 3/8″ wide to prevent choking hazard
Laziness is an art form. Not many people realize that, but it is. There are many times when you might think that it’s ridiculous to ask someone else to get something for you when it’s only a few inches from where you’re sitting, but you would be wrong. I mean, why get up and get something yourself when you can get someone else to do it, right? If you think I’m crazy, ask yourself how many times you use the remote to turn on the TV, even when you’re standing right next to it, instead of doing it on manually. I believe the response you’re looking for is always.
Because laziness might as well be my middle name, I have much appreciation for the little things that make my life easier, like the Salt & Pepper Bots (Nerd Seven, $29.95). Now, we all know that reaching for the salt and pepper isn’t the most difficult thing in the world, even if your table is super long, but wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t have to reach over someone else while they were eating? With a set of these wind-up robots, all you’d have to do is wind them and get on with your meal. These little guys will clip-clop their way across the table, where they’ll deliver the condiment of choice housed in their screw-on head to the recipient. What more could you ask for?
I know that waiting for a small wind-up toy to deliver a pinch of salt probably takes more time than just reaching across the table and getting it yourself, but that’s not the point. The point is that this is so ridiculously lazy, it crosses over into awesome. You know you agree.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 2.5″ x 3.75″ x 1.3″ (each)
-Weight: 5 oz (each)
-Wind up robots
-Salt and pepper set
-Screw on head compartment stores salt or pepper
-Made of food grade ABS plastic
Most people I know have trouble making it through the work day (myself included). It’s almost as if time ceases to exist and you think that you’re going to be crunching the numbers forever. I mean, how is it possible that the first few hours of the day pass by so quickly, but that as soon as you realize the day is half over, it slows to a crawl? I find that one of the best ways to pass the time and beat the working day blahs is to surround yourself with amusing objects. Unfortunately, in order to utilize this method in the workplace, your toys are going to have to serve a legitimate purpose.
So not only does the Mummy Mike Rubber Band Holder (Perpetual Kid, $12.99) actually help keep your desk a little more organized, it’s also a fantastic time waster. I mean, what fidgeteer wouldn’t love a silicone mummy to play with? You get to wrap your rubber bands all over his body under the guise that you’re cleaning up your workspace. And when you’re done, you can take them off and start all over again, claiming that it wasn’t done right the first time. And if that doesn’t waste a minute or two on the company dime, I don’t know what will.
Seriously though, the next time your colleague wants to show you the monster rubber band ball he made, just show him this. He’ll be totally jealous.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 5.5″ x 3.25″
-Includes rubber bands
-Made of silicone
Ladies, do you feel like your man isn’t as attentive as he used to be? He used to take you out for romantic candlelit dinners at expensive restaurants for no reason at all, and now you can’t even get him to take you to Taco Bell for your anniversary! And that’s really saying something because there isn’t a man out there who can resist Taco Bell. Guys, it isn’t about the amount of money spent or the extravagance of the gifts, but about doing something nice for the special lady in your life. And if you really want to score some brownie points, make it something that she wouldn’t normally expect. Instead of taking her out to dinner (because any schmo can do that), why not make her dinner at home? Or maybe you could let her pick the movie instead of forcing her to watch NASCAR. And next time you’re tempted to buy her something shiny from the jewelry store, try thinking outside the box for once.
If you did, surely the first thing you’d come up with would be the Toilet Seat Night Light (Taylor Gifts, $19.98). I mean, what woman wouldn’t like a light up toilet? Isn’t the number one complaint from women that their partner always leaves the toilet seat up, causing them to almost fall in the bowl? Personally, I don’t understand why women can’t seem to see that the lid is up before they sit, but that’s just me. This is a gift that’s personal, one that shows that you really care about her and her tailbone. Using a sensor, the light is activated when someone approaches and automatically turns itself off when they leave. As if that wasn’t awesome enough, the light glows green when the toilet seat is down (signaling it’s safe to sit) and red when it’s up (proceed with caution).
I’m telling you, your girl is gonna love it. I’d bet good money that none of her friends have anything like it.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 3″ x 1″ x 3.5″
-Uses sensors to turn light on upon approach
-Light glows green when seat is down
-Light glows red if seat is up
-Mounted to toilet
-Made of plastic
Sometimes, there’s just no way that you’re getting out of bed. You’ve made a choice, and it was to snuggle up in a pile of blankets all day. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, but like we’ve talked about before, a lot of us have certain responsibilities that prevent us from shutting out the world. So, with that in mind, we purchase gadgets to trick us into thinking that it’s very important that we instantly spring up from our cozy cocoons the minute our alarm goes off. Obviously, this doesn’t always work. Some of us need a little more persuading than just a gentle push. Some of us need a heavy shove.
What’s the best way to get your ass out of bed with lightening speed? Losing money. You’d think that our brains could make the link between not getting out bed on time to being late for work to being fired, but it’s not so. The SnkzNLkz – Wifi Donation Alarm Clock (ThinkGeek, $39.99) makes it very clear that if you don’t get out of bed right quick, you’re going to be in the poorhouse in no time flat. See, you hook this clock up to your bank account using the magic of Wifi and every time you press the snooze button, it deducts money from your bank account. What does it do with the money it takes? Why, it donates it to the charity of your choice, preferably one that you hate with an all-consuming rage. Each snooze will cost you $10 or more (it’s up to you) and the clock keeps track of just how much you’ve donated. If that isn’t motivation to get to work on time, I don’t know what is.
Did you think this was actually a real product? Gotcha! Well, to be fair, ThinkGeek did most of the work, but I like to think of this as an equal-opportunity April Fool’s Day prank.
5 out of 5 April Fool’s Day stars.
Specs:
-Automatically donates to charity when snooze button is pressed
-Set up your bank info and donation amount per snooze incident
-Choose your charity
-Connects via Wifi or RJ45 jack
