There are some days when nothing seems to go right. Some days, it’s all you can do to just keep your cool and not freak out over the smallest detail that has gone awry. I like to think that on those types of days that I possess the necessary self-control to conduct myself in a professional manner. Unfortunately, that’s rarely the case.
When I feel like I can’t take it anymore, I reach for the Stress Beater (Perpetual Kid, $7.99). Instead of literally blowing a fuse at work and screaming about “burning this mother down,” I slowly squeeze my stress buster. I could use one of those dinky little stress balls, the kind that usually has a smiley face printed on the side, but that shit only makes me what to punch something more. And hey, what’s better for stress punching than a pair of squishy brass knuckles? You can live out your tough guy fantasies without actually harming anyone (trust me, your lawyer will thank you).
You show those TPS reports who’s boss.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 4″ x 3″ x 0.5″
-Squeezable stress releaser
It’s Wednesday, the middle of the week, and for some reason this does nothing to perk me up. Sure, there’s a holiday weekend coming up so I should be pretty stoked, but all I can think of is how much still has to get done between now and then. It’s days like this when it seems like the week might never end.
The only way to get through a week that’s dragging along is to keep yourself going. This can mean throwing yourself into your work or distracting yourself with something completely ridiculous. Guess which one I’m going for? The Creative Outlets Stickers (Perpetual Kid, $3.49) should make it pretty clear that I’m all about silly diversions to make the day go by faster. A really good distraction doesn’t completely take away from the task at hand, instead giving a brief moment of reprieve from whatever is vexing you. These stickers are perfect for that. Come on, what could be more gigglesome than putting funny faces on your outlets? Not a whole lot, that’s for sure. And once you’ve had a good laugh, you can pull it together and get on with your work day.
Note: Multiple outlet adornments and viewings may be required to accelerate time passage.
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 7″ x 3.75″ (per sheet)
-Funny outlet stickers
-Printed on glossy vinyl
I’m all for pranks, especially when pulled on known pranksters. There’s just something about scaring the bejesus out of someone for your own personal benefit that appeals to me. Of course, it helps if the person in question has done the very same thing to you in the past because then there’s a sense of accomplishment when you one-up them.
The trick is to catch your mark at where they’ll be most vulnerable so that even if they suspect you’re plotting against them, defenses will be down. Using this bit of advice as a guideline, the best place to stage a prank is clearly the bathroom. The Toilet Monster (Perpetual Kid, $16.99) is the perfect accessory for a bathroom prankster. A creepy monster popping up out of the toilet is sure to scare the pants off anyone and this green goblin is no exception. Attach the monster to the lid of the toilet seat via suction cups, close the lid, and wait for your prank to play out.
Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts, indeed. This thing is nasty looking and sure would scare the crap out of me (luckily, I’d be the bathroom).
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Toilet prank
-Attaches via suction cups
-Reusable
I had to get up earlier than usual today and let me tell you, it was rough. I wanted to hit that snooze button over and over until about noon, but instead I forced my sleepy self out of bed. The problem was that because I didn’t lay in bed forever and take the time to properly wake up (which would have made me late for my appointment), I was groggy for most of the morning. It seems like I have to choose between on time or awake, and that just isn’t going to work for me.
Get the best of both worlds with the Twist Equation Alarm Clock (ThinkGeek, $14.99), a gadget that not only wakes you up but also makes sure your brain doesn’t hit the snooze button. Picture this: you’re having a crazy dream when your alarm suddenly goes off. Normally, you’d hit the snooze button while you tried to make sense of the dream and before long, you’d be running late. Why not use an alarm without a snooze button? Well, then you’d probably just turn it off and go back to sleep. With this alarm clock, you have to solve a spontaneous math equation in order to turn it off, thus activating your brain’s thought process and making it much harder to fall back asleep afterward. Once the alarm goes off, the digital screen that usually shows the hours turns into an operational sign (plus or minus) and the digital screen that usually shows the minutes turns into a different number. You have to toggle the numerical wheels on either side of the operational sign in order to create an equation that makes sense or else the alarm won’t turn off. By the time you finish, you’ll be ready to start the day. Genius!
I don’t even like math and I think this is a good idea. And that’s saying something.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 5″ x 2.25″ x 2.25″
-Solve equation to turn off alarm
-Rotate function wheel to display time, alarm, or date
-12 or 24 hour format
-Requires 3 AAA batteries (not included)
I’m pretty sure I have the tiniest bladder in the world. I must get up to go to the bathroom at least four or five times a night. The worst thing about getting up in the middle of the night, besides being ripped from your sleep and cozy bed, is that you have to stagger to the bathroom in complete darkness. Some people are lucky enough to have a bathroom right inside their bedroom, but even that won’t keep you from stubbing your toe or, worse yet, failing to notice a lifted toilet seat.
Who needs to turn on a light when you have the Glow in the Dark Loo Roll (Firebox, £4.12)? You can pee in obscurity by the glow of the toilet paper roll because it uses energy from a sufficient light source during the day to power itself at night. Now, I’m not saying it’ll be like you have a couple of floodlights in your bathroom, but it should be enough to make out the toilet bowl and any other immediate obstacles.
Great Scott!
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 9cm diameter
-Glows in the dark
-No batteries required
-Glows thru contact with sufficient light source during the day
-Illuminates immediate area only
