For those of us who enjoy summer lounging and the like but are still completely immature, the Spit Wad Launcher (Convenient Gadgets & Gifts, $14.95) is perfect. Yes, the idea of shooting another person with a spitball is completely juvenile, but it’s also completely awesome. What’s the real problem with spitball shooting, besides the obvious unsanitary aspect of it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. This shooter uses reusable spitballs that are soaked in water instead of spit, so it’s not so much a spitball but a waterball (although, spitball sounds so much cooler, so I’m just gonna go with it). The launcher comes with 12 reusable spitballs that fit into the launcher’s two holding chambers. You can hit a friend from up to 60 feet away, getting twice the splat without the spit. I don’t know about you, but it seems like someone improved on perfection.

By purchasing this spitball launcher, not only are you creating hours of enjoyment for yourself and/or a friend, but you’ll also be saving the environment. Don’t believe me? Just ask all those trees that aren’t being ripped up, chewed on, and spit out. You didn’t know you were such a humanitarian, did you?

4 out of 5 stars.

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First of all, it’s R2-D2. You’re clearly not a fan if you even need more than that for an explanation of awesomeness, but we’ll delve a little further to humor you. R2-D2 responds to over 40 voice commands as well as answer yes or no questions. He’s also adept at navigating rooms and hallways, through the use of an infrared sensor. This same sensor allows him to search for people in a room, follow behind you, or detect motion. He can replay sounds and dialog from the Star Wars movies and even dance while playing cantina music. My favorite part about R2-D2? He can play games, like tag. You heard me right, I said you can play tag with R2-D2! And I’m not talking about when you pretend to play tag with your other inanimate objects (you invariably always win) because R2-D2 will actually interact with you. There’s no way you can pretend like that isn’t the coolest thing you’ve ever heard. Go ahead, just try to deny it.

Sure, you’re gonna have to drop some serious coinage on this little guy, but it’s totally worth it. Well, at least it would be to a real Star Wars fan. All you other losers out there shouldn’t even bother. I bet R2-D2 wouldn’t even want to be your friend. That’s right, I went there.

5 out of 5 droid stars.

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When it comes to ping pong, the Brodmann Blades Ping Pong Set (Generate Design, $99.00) knows what’s up. I know, you’re looking at the price of this set and you’re a little skeptical, but just hear me out. Sure, this set has a price point above other ping pong sets that may seem in the same league, but that’s where you’re wrong. See, this set contains two hobby grade paddles that are majorly innovative when it comes to the game of ping pong. Instead of holding the paddle with your hand, the paddle fits over your hand. That’s right, it’s like a glove except it’s a ping pong paddle. I’m blowing your mind right now, aren’t I? As a result, you will experience increased comfort, which will help you relax and focus on the game, as well as greater ball control for a faster and more intuitive game. With sensor impact to reduce vibration, you’ll have a faster response and the “sweet spot” on the paddle will be enhanced. You’ll pretty much be able to feel exactly where the ball makes contact with the paddle – how awesome is that?!

You guys better watch out because I’ve been working on my game. That’s right, I might even score this time around. Maybe. There’s only so much a new set of paddles can do.

4 out of 5 stars.

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For those of us who demand to be entertained at the dinner table but cannot afford quality dinner theater, the Food Face Dinner Plate (Perpetual Kid, $10.99) will surely suffice.Remember Woolly Willy? Such a simple concept, but that bald man provided us with hours of hilarious enjoyment. This plate employ that same idea, namely dressing up a bald, beardless man, but with food instead of magnetic shavings. Not only does this plate provide hours (yes, I said hours) of endless entertainment, but the possibilities really are infinite! I mean, depending on what your dinner consists of, you could have a mashed potatoes beard, roast beef hair, and carrots for eyebrows. Or maybe you want to go the traditional route and do spaghetti hair and marinara sauce lipstick – that’s what I think when I hear the word “traditional.” And don’t worry about overuse because this plate is made of high-fire ceramics, designed to withstand many, many, many character transitions.

These plates are actually my fine china, only I use them all the time instead of just on special occasions. On holidays, I like to take them out and challenge my guests to a Face Decorating Contest. Best use of food as art wins a Maserati. That’s just how I roll.

4 out of 5 stars.

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Luckily, the Air Hover Hockey Game (Things You Never Knew Existed, $11.98) is sympathetic to your lack of space. See, you don’t have to live an air hockey-free existence any longer! As long as you have a table (any flat surface, actually), you’re pretty much set. The ultimate in party gaming, this set comes with a puck, two felt bottomed plastic strikers, and two goals. Don’t you remember how much fun you used to have in the arcade at the air hockey table? Remember how you vowed throughout your teen angst-ridden years that you would have an air hockey table when you were grown up? And then what happened? You moved into an overpriced, yet tiny apartment that you could barely fit a twin sized bed inside. Well, now your dream can finally come true – table by day, air hockey by night!

In case you’re wondering how you get that whole air hockey experience without the bulky table, I’ll let you in on a little secret: it’s the puck. Yup, this little puck runs off a couple of AAA batteries to create its own cushion of air, allowing for hours of air hockey enjoyment. Ah, to enjoy the finer things in life!

5 out of 5 stars.

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