Let’s face it, even if you’re not alone on Valentine’s Day, it can kinda suck. It’s one of those so-called holidays that seems like it should be a really good time but almost always inevitably lets you down. You know, kinda like New Year’s Eve. Personally, I think it’s the hype factor. Valentine’s Day plans apparently have to include fancy dinners, lavish gifts, and some big, grandiose gesture. If that’s not setting yourself up to fail, I don’t know what is. Why don’t you just slow your roll this year and see how that goes?
I’m not saying you should suck out all the romance, but a tweak or two couldn’t hurt. Snarky Valentine’s Day Cards (ThinkGeek, $9.99) are the perfect antidote to a boring and predictable “holiday” with your significant other. I mean, everyone pledges their undying love, why not go for something a little different? Maybe by injecting an ounce of realism into the day, it won’t be a complete snorefest. These cards let your number one lady know just how much you care about her, but in a much less nauseating fashion. A set of six, each card features a different outer message like the one pictured here. The insides of each card are blank, so if you’re afraid that your sweetie pie might be a little turned off by messages like, “Big dinner make me drowsy so let’s do the sex part first,” then you can make up for it with a truckload of romantic gobbledygook on the inside.
It’s the perfect way to say “I love you,” without actually having to say it.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: approximately 6.25″ x 4.625″
-Set of six cards
-Envelopes included
-Insides are blank
-For adults only
In case you haven’t realized it yet, Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. Unless you want to be that guy (or more accurately, guys) rushing to a crowded jewelry store at the last minute, you should probably get something soon. The key to a good Valentine’s Day gift is thoughtfulness – it doesn’t have to be expensive to be memorable. At least that’s what you should tell your significant other when you present them with their homemade/recycled/cheapo gift.
If you can spin it, the Lover Vouchers (Perpetual Kid, $6.99) could be the perfect gift idea this Valentine’s Day. Chances are, your thoughtful gesture won’t seem all that thoughtful so you’d better have a good story to back this one up. Everyone knows that vouchers are the easy way out; they’re the poor man’s gift card. In order to seem like you really considered everything else before deciding this 20 voucher booklet was the best idea, you should probably talk up its good points. For example, this isn’t just one gift, but actually 20. How generous! These vouchers can be used at any time, but fancy jewelry is only for special occasions. Used sparingly, this booklet can last a very long time – can the same be said for a box of chocolates? You get the idea.
Go forth, cheap one, and don’t forget to turn on the charm.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 8″ x 3.25″
-Set of 20 vouchers
Are you a bit bummed because it doesn’t feel quite like the holiday season has even started, yet alone almost over? I bet I can pinpoint the cause: lack of snow. Now, unless you live in the tundra (aka Minnesota), you probably haven’t seen that much snowfall this year. For some people that’s a blessing – no driveways to shovel, treacherous roads to travel, or ice patches to slip on. For the rest of us, it’s kinda a downer. I mean, Christmas without any snow? That’s unheard of!
The Light Flurries Instant Snowflakes Machine (Things You Never Knew Existed, $79.98) is guaranteed to make your Christmas a White Christmas. Alright, so it won’t actually make it snow, but it will create the illusion of snow, and that’s all that really matters. Using a patented rotating ball light system, the device mimics the look of thousands of snowflakes. You can control the speed and intensity of the snowflakes, so you can decide if you want a light sprinkle of snowflakes or a flurry frenzy. You can create snowflakes both indoors and outdoors, but seriously, who ever heard of it snowing indoors? That would just be weird (even weirder than snowflake light projections).
Gift givability factor: High. A lot us haven’t even seen a snowfall yet this year (yes, I’m even talking about northerners), so the odds are pretty good that you won’t be having a “White Christmas.” With this handy device, anyone can create a faux winter wonderland without the hassle of actual snow. I’m sure folks in Minnesota would trade their mountains of snow for this guy any day of the week.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 10″ x 11″ x 7″
-Patented light system mimics snowfall
-Rotating ball with random light patterns
-Projects realistic size snowflakes
-Select speed to control intensity
-Indoor or outdoor use
-Easy setup and storage
-AC powered
Why is it that no matter how warm the rest of your body is, your ears and nose will always be cold in the winter? Now, a nose you can’t really do anything about because it’s smack dab in the middle of your face and it’s not like you can cover it. Tough break on that one. However, your ears are a different story. When your ears get cold, they get super cold. And then when you finally get in a warm place, it’s even worse because your ears start to burn as if they were taunting you for complaining about not being warm enough. The easiest way to avoid all of this is pretty obvious: cover your damn ears before going out in cold weather!
Most of us know we should cover up in the winter, but we don’t because we’d rather be, for lack of a better word, cool. I mean, how are you supposed to listen to your tunes when you’ve got to maneuver your beanie over your earbuds or good ole fashioned headphones? It’s practically impossible to get comfortable that way! The Midland SubZero Headphones (Firebox UK, £34.99) allow you to listen to music and keep your ears from getting frostbitten at the same time. These high tech earmuffs have it all, with earphones built flush inside the lining and a remote on the cable that allows you to pause/play, skip tracks, and take calls. That’s right, not only can you listen to music but you can also hook this baby up to your smartphone so you don’t lost touch with the outside world, even if you’re trekking through the tundra. Cotton fur lined and fully adjustable, these headphones will keep you as fashionable as they do warm.
Gift givability factor: High. Who likes being cold? No one. Who’s cold in the wintertime? Everyone. I would file this one under “Duh.”
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 10cm x 10cm x 1.5cm
-Cable measures 1.2m long
-Headphones and earmuffs all in one
-Flush earphone built inside lining
-Microphone on cable to take calls
-Remote on cable to pause/play and skip tracks
-Voice command functions
-Fully adjustable
-Gold plated 3.5mm standard headphone jack fits most music players
-Available in black, camouflage, white, and black leather
-Cotton fur lined
-Made of faux fur
-Not washable
As you get older, you start to appreciate certain things more. Some might find solace in a strong investment portfolio, a fulfilling career, or the achievements of their children. Me, I’ve been getting into wine. Now, I don’t mean to say that I’m an expert because I’m nowhere near that title. I just mean that I’ve actually started to like drinking wine, instead of being forced to gulp down a glass with dinner at the holidays. Don’t even try asking me what kind I like because the answer isn’t going to be anything spectacular. I think of wine as falling into two categories: white and red.
It doesn’t matter if you can’t tell the difference between a Pinot Noir and a Shiraz, you can still throw a killer party (hint: just buy both). Because I only just started enjoying wine and am still fairly unsophisticated, I appreciate ridiculous things like the Party Guy Wine Head (Perpetual Kid, $7.99) that liven up the joint. Essentially, this strange looking guy is a wine pourer and stopper all in one. After you open your wine of choice, simply place this party animal on the top of the bottle. Take the party favor out of his mouth to pour your wine and stuff it back in when you’re done.
Yes, I’m completely aware of how insane this item looks. And by insane, I clearly mean insanely awesome. I mean, everyone brings a bottle of wine to a holiday party but how many bring a wine pourer? Exactly.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 3.75″ with .75″ stopper
-Pourer and stopper all in one
-Fits most bottles
-Great hostess gift
-Made of plastic
