I’ll be the first to admit it: sometimes I can have a bit of a spending problem. I do my best to save my pennies, but I’m a firm believer in that you have to spend money to save money. Some of you may be unfamiliar with a seemingly backwards thinking concept, so let me explain how this works. If you are constantly saving, one day you’re just gonna freak out and buy everything in sight until your checking account is insanely overdrawn. Instead, you should save a little, spend a little. It’s a good practice, but someone like me needs to amp it up every once in awhile because my money burning ways get the best of me. So I like to look for items that can serve double-duty, or at the very least give the illusion of a two-for-the-price-of-one deal.
So you can’t look at the Five Finger Fillet Steak Knives (Perpetual Kid, $59.99) as just a set of knives because they’re so much more than that. Sure, this set of six stainless steel knives can be used traditionally for meals and such, but you’ve got to think outside the box. With such a creative presentation, the first thing that comes to my mind is self defense. I mean, they’re super sharp, durable, and apparently fit very nicely either between someone’s fingers or in the middle of their hand. Now that I think about it, these would probably work for some kind of circus act. You know, like a knifethrower and his lovely assistant? Just think of how awesome that would be!
See, the trick here is to look at the bottom line and then divide it by how many “deals” you’re getting. These can range from the blatantly obvious (2 shirts for $25, divide by 2), slightly more creative (one dress equals an entire outfit so divide by 2 or 3), and the generally absurd (spending $250 to get free shipping when all you wanted was one $40 item).
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 8.5″ x 7.75″ base
-Includes six 4.5″ steak knives and black plastic base
-Knives made of 18/0 stainless steel
-Designed by Raffaele Iannello
I am a major proponent of the theory that anything can be made more interesting if it’s presented in a fun and unique way. This idea applies to abstract concepts but also, more specifically, tangible items. I’ll venture to guess that some things that are already pretty amazing could be even more awesome if someone just took the time to improve on them. For instance, I’m sure all the boozers out there love them some alcoholic beverages, but they would have to agree that some beverages are better than others. Of course, this is all very subjective so there’s no way that you’re going to please everyone by upgrading one type of liquor. However, you could make the method of consuming the hooch all the more pleasurable. I know, it’s hard to believe that’s even possible, but I assure you, it is.
The Yin Yang Power Bomb Shot Cups (KegWorks, $8.50 for 6) take an already fantastic idea (shots) and make it even more splendiferous. How’s that? By separating a four ounce shot glass into two chambers at a 3:1 ratio, you can achieved the perfect way to consume mixed shots. See, everyone loves a Jager bomb (how could you not), but it can get a little less tasty when no one knows how to properly measure out the ingredients. Then you end up with a bomb that’s either so much Jager that it’s like eating a handful of black licorice or has so much Red Bull that your teeth fall out. With perfect portion control, these reusable cups have the power to make your binge boozing experiences completely successful. Best of all, when you tilt the cup to drink, both compartments will mix together to yield a perfectly mixed shot.
In case you’re not a fan of Jager bombs (simply impossible, but we’ll go with it), that doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy these cups. Irish car bombs are another example of tasty drinks that work much better with portion control. And if shots really aren’t your thing, you can even use the cup to put a shot on one side and a mixer on the other. See, I’m all about problem solving.
5 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 3.25″ x 2.75″
-Capacity: 4 oz total (3 oz & 1 oz chambers)
-Portions drink ingredients perfectly
-Reusable
-Made of durable clear plastic
There’s been quite a few options over the past week or so for gifts this Valentine’s Day, some of them silly, some of them romantic, and some of them just downright bitter. But I’ve saved the best gift for last, the one that every woman is hoping deep down in her heart of hearts to receive from her significant other on February 14th: the engagement ring. There are a lot of rings out there that you could choose from and it seems like limitless options when it comes to diamond size and shape. Fortunately for you, I’ve scouted out all the top prospects and have come up with the perfect ring. Trust me, her ring (and your proposal) will be the talk of the town.
Show her just how much you love her this Valentine’s Day with the 2 Carat Mug (Firebox, $14.95), a ring unlike any she’s ever seen before. Imagine her look of shock and surprise when you get down on one knee to present her with this beautiful ring inside an elegant black box. Sure, it’s not a real engagement ring, but that’s part of the fun! When you jokingly show her a ring and ask her to spend the rest of her life with you, I’m sure she’ll laugh out loud when you explain that the ring is actually attached to a mug.* I mean, I’m sure she would much rather have a white porcelain cup with a ring attached to it, especially when said ring has a genuine Swarovski crystal embedded in the center. Available in gold or platinum effect, you’re sure to please your love with this token of your affection.
*I claim no responsibility for the possibility of your impending break-up. I suggest you make sure she’ll find this funny before you consider attempting.
5 out of 5 fake engagement stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 4″ x 4″ x 2 3/4″ (cup)
-Available in gold or platinum effect
-Cup made of white porcelain with genuine Swarovski crystal
-Not dishwasher or microwave safe
So now that we’ve talked and talked about what cutesy things you can get your sugarlips for Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be only fair to suggest an item for those not looking forward to the card company holiday. Now, I’m not saying that these unattached people are bitter and full of hate…but, deep down, that’s probably the case. They don’t want hearts and flowers adorning every surface of their home and workplace. Whether these people simply want the holiday to pass by unnoticed or are truly out for blood due to a relationship betrayal, I think we can all agree that a box of chocolates is not an appropriate Valentine’s Day gift for your single friends.
If your possible gift recipient is on the warpath this Valentine’s Day, then the Ex Skewer Set (Perpetual Kid, $59.99) is the perfect gift for him/her. Not only is the set perfect for entertaining at parties, but it has a nice voodoo doll quality to it as well. The set includes a small dipping bowl inset in a larger bowl. The top of the small bowl is a figure pierced with 12 stainless steel skewers, allowing the dip to be covered when not in use. Come on, what better way to vent your frustrations than with a harmless figure with skewers sticking out of its body? Perfect for those “Valentine’s Day Sucks” parties, your guests can spear the figure over and over for hours of enjoyment. Oh, and I guess they could occasionally use the skewers to stab cheese cubes, olives, or any other small dippable appetizer.
Mmm, nothing like spending an afternoon sticking skewers into a makeshift voodoo doll. That pretty much describes my weekend.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 12″ x 9″
-Includes 12 stainless steel skewers
-Ex figure is detachable to reveal dip bowl
-Available in white only
-Made of ABS plastic
-Hand wash
Alright, alright, so I may have noted my displeasure for the so-called holiday that is rapidly approaching, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to ignore it entirely. I’ve tried – it didn’t end well. So I’m sorry to say, but there’s gonna be a bit of cutesy item coverage for the next couple of weeks. I’ll do my best to find fun, spiteful items like last week’s Bittersweets, but occasionally I will have to bow to the masses and humor all the lovebirds out there. Now, without further ado…
The Heart Egg Molder (Perpetual Kid, $5.99) is a good way to jump into all this Valentine’s Day nonsense without going overboard. While making a heart-shaped omelet or eggs-in-a-basket (as shown) for your sweetie pie is nauseatingly adorable, it’s not the only way to enjoy fun shaped breakfast items. Perhaps you just enjoy a tasty breakfast and you’d like to liven it up a bit. You know, start your day off on a positive note, knowing that your eggs and toast will always be there for you (unlike your shady ex). Or maybe you know someone who’s a big fan of food (aren’t we all?) so they’d totally eggpreciate (!) such a thoughtful gesture. And then, there are those people out there who want to buy this contraption as some sort of salute to a ridiculous “holiday” – that’s cool too, I’m not judging.
Still taking suggestions for that singles only holiday – we need a name, a date, and a way to celebrate. Scratch that, I think I know how the celebration will go.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 5″ x 6.5″
