As your partner in crime, the Disposable Plastic Flasks (KegWorks, $8.95) have totally got your back when it comes to the whole sneaking in an outside drink thing. Granted, these flasks are probably more for the alcoholic beverage variety than a cup of Juicy Juice, but the principal purpose remains the same: you won’t have to pay an outrageous for a drink. These come in a set of four with two plastic funnels to help you easily fill the flasks with your beverage of choice. And just because they’re marketed as disposable doesn’t mean that they won’t last – each flask is designed to withstand several uses before disposal. The flask fits comfortably in your back pants pocket or inside your jacket, so you probably won’t even notice it’s there (hopefully security won’t either). The great thing about these flasks being disposable is that if the fuzz should catch onto your stunt and make your toss it, you’re not out that flask you got for being the best man at your buddy’s wedding. And hey, you’ve even got three more, so it’s really a non-issue.

If I were you though, I wouldn’t be wasting these babies on anything other than hard liquor. I think they would be perfect for sporting events, especially those where they don’t pat you down that thoroughly. Then all you have to do is buy a mixer while you’re there, or you could just go all hardcore and enjoy your booze the way it was meant to be enjoyed.

4 out of 5 stars.

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Something like the Animated Moving Books (Things You Never Knew Existed, $27.98) will keep your friends on their toes, but aren’t going to give them a heart attack. They look like just a regular set of books, like you decided to put out some Halloween decor and you decided on these books about ghost stories and spells & potions. However, there’s a trick to these books. They’re motion activated. Meaning, when your guests are looking at them from across the room, they’re just another couple of books. But when they move in to get a closer look, the books begin to slide in and out as spooky sounds play. If you’re staring directly at the books, this can be a little unnerving to see. If you’re walking past the books, this kind of thing can really play with your mind. Did that book really move? Are you seeing things? The illusion is cemented by the fact that there’s no visible wiring (the set runs on batteries) so it will truly look like the movement is happening organically.

The trick to really amazing Halloween decorations is to think of the stuff that people aren’t used to seeing. Sure, you’ve gotta go with your tried and true gravestones, bats, and ghosts, but what about thinking outside the box for a change? If someone’s looking at the “normal” Halloween fare, they’re really gonna be knocked out of their boots when you scare them out of left field. Think of these books as an introduction into unusual scare tactics.

4 out of 5 stars.

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Luckily, the Secret Safe Mug (Convenient Gadgets & Gifts, $19.95) fits that description perfectly. I mean, who would think that a travel mug was really a secret safe? I know there are a lot of these “secret stash” items out there, but most of them are just crap. There’s really no other way to say it. Sure, you could hide your antique diamond ring in a faux soda can, but what happens when a friend of yours decides to be nice and clean up your kitchen? Oh, and they took the recyclables out for you too. Something tells me you’re shit out of luck. It’s not very likely that someone is going to throw out your travel mug, especially because the top portion is a fully functional insulated travel mug. Meaning, you can fill it with your favorite hot beverage while carrying your valuables around in the bottom storage area, and no one will be the wiser.

Apparently, most burglars spend less than six minutes inside a person’s home. So basically, unless you put your stuff in the most obvious of places, you’re gonna be pretty safe. I mean, who’s gonna check a travel mug for cash and other assets? Except you, now that you’ve read this post.

5 out of 5 stars.

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So because I’m trying to minimize my embarrassment factor, I decided it might be high time to invest in the Locking Stor A Key (The Home Marketplace, $9.99). You know those magnetic key holders that people stick underneath their cars or in a tool chest? This is better. You know those fake rocks and animals that people use a hidden keyholders that they think are going to fool potential burglars from breaking into their house? This is totally better than those. The reason behind this key hider’s genius lies in the hidden combination lock attached to the front of it. I mean, sure you hope that someone won’t find where you’ve hidden your spare key, but what if they do? Those other contraptions aren’t going to help you. With a 3-digit combination lock, it’s going to just a little more difficult for them to just waltz on into your house. And this spare key holder is also magnetic so you can put it anywhere you might have put your old, inferior key hider. Don’t worry, it comes with double-side tape as well so you can mount it just about anywhere you like.

I’m super stoked about the possibility of regaining my dignity, now that I’m no longer going to be locked out of my house at inopportune moments. I mean, there’s nothing worse than knocking on your neighbor’s door after the whole family just got back from church, and you’re wearing nothing but today’s newspaper. Seriously, there’s nothing worse.

4 out of 5 stars.

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If you have the Wine Rack (Firebox, $29.95), then you’re pretty much set. Sure, it looks like a regular black sports bra, but that’s the genius of it. See, inside the sports bra is a polyurethane refillable bra that holds 750ml or 25oz of your favorite beverage, so you can bring your jolly juice to the ballpark without anyone knowing. A long drinking tube with an on/off valve attaches to the interior bra, which allows you to route it though your clothing without being uncomfortable. As if bypassing the expensive drinks during your outing isn’t enough of an incentive, a full bra also increases your cup size by two full cups. Yeah, you might be a little deflated by the end of the night, but you’ll have drank for free so it’s a small price to pay. And guys, before you start getting your panties in a bunch, there is a male version of this product called the Beerbelly (Firebox, $34.95) that gives you the same sort of experience. Yes, it’s slightly less sexy than having a massive bust to have an inflated belly, but the male version also allows for more liquid storage. Also, it comes with a slot for an optional cold or hot pack to keep your drinks at optimum temperature. And ladies, if you don’t mind looking a bit pudgy, maybe this could work for you as well.

Seriously, I’m never gonna leave the house without one of these again. Hey, I’ve got an awesome idea! I’ll just wear both and then maybe I can say I’m pregnant. Think about it, huge knockers and a bountiful belly – they’ll never even suspect me drinking!

5 out of 5 stars.

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