If you’re like me, you love your pets. You love so much that you wish you could take them everywhere, but sometimes that’s just not possible. Take your honeymoon, for example. Any honeymoon-worthy romantic destination probably doesn’t allow animals. Not to mention, why are you taking your pets on a trip meant for two? Some other places that it’s generally forbidden or frowned upon to take your pets: water parks, baptisms, funerals, court dates, etc. Basically, you’re going to have to learn to squash the urge to be thisclose your furry four-legged friend 24/7. Or, at the very least, fake it convincingly.
For our friends out there with feline companions, there’s the Cat-In-A-Can (Perpetual Kid, $11.99). Everyone else, you’re shit out of luck. This kitty can travel with your wherever you go and is very low maintenance. I mean, you don’t have to feed it, worry about it scratching up the furniture, or even empty its nonexistent litter box. It probably has something to do with the fact that this kitty is inflatable, but I’ll let you decide that one for yourself. So you can give this plastic kitty all the love and attention you would give your faithful felines at home, thus assuaging any possible guilt for temporarily abandoning them while you have the time of your life on vacation.
Ok, so now that you’ve solved your animal problem, the only issue left here is do your friends and family know that you’re a crazy cat connoisseur? Because that’s gonna be pretty tough for deny once your show up in Vegas with an inflatable pussycat.
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 12.5″ tall
-Inflatable cat
I’ve been experiencing a little bit of a heat wave lately (it’s been in the high 40s!) so it’s kinda got me thinking about summer. I mean, it’s not that much of a stretch for me to daydream about sunny skies, warm weather, and most importantly, vacation time. I remember when I was younger, summer was all about the pool. Whoever had a pool or access to one was the coolest kid around; a sprinkler was not a comparable substitute. And I don’t think my views have changed too much since then, even though I’m not much for swimming. There’s just something about hanging out around the pool on a hot day that’s so enticing.
For those of us who enjoy summer lounging and the like but are still completely immature, the Spit Wad Launcher (Convenient Gadgets & Gifts, $14.95) is perfect. Yes, the idea of shooting another person with a spitball is completely juvenile, but it’s also completely awesome. What’s the real problem with spitball shooting, besides the obvious unsanitary aspect of it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. This shooter uses reusable spitballs that are soaked in water instead of spit, so it’s not so much a spitball but a waterball (although, spitball sounds so much cooler, so I’m just gonna go with it). The launcher comes with 12 reusable spitballs that fit into the launcher’s two holding chambers. You can hit a friend from up to 60 feet away, getting twice the splat without the spit. I don’t know about you, but it seems like someone improved on perfection.
By purchasing this spitball launcher, not only are you creating hours of enjoyment for yourself and/or a friend, but you’ll also be saving the environment. Don’t believe me? Just ask all those trees that aren’t being ripped up, chewed on, and spit out. You didn’t know you were such a humanitarian, did you?
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Includes 12 reusable spitballs
-2 holding chambers
-Twice the splat without the spit
-Soak reusable spitballs in water before launching
-Soak friends from 60 feet away
Attention all geeks: I have found your new favorite gadget! I mean, it’s not really that hard to figure out why Star Wars fans out there would love the Voice Activated R2-D2 (Hammacher Schlemmer, $199.95), but let me try to break it down for you oblivious non-geeks out there.
First of all, it’s R2-D2. You’re clearly not a fan if you even need more than that for an explanation of awesomeness, but we’ll delve a little further to humor you. R2-D2 responds to over 40 voice commands as well as answer yes or no questions. He’s also adept at navigating rooms and hallways, through the use of an infrared sensor. This same sensor allows him to search for people in a room, follow behind you, or detect motion. He can replay sounds and dialog from the Star Wars movies and even dance while playing cantina music. My favorite part about R2-D2? He can play games, like tag. You heard me right, I said you can play tag with R2-D2! And I’m not talking about when you pretend to play tag with your other inanimate objects (you invariably always win) because R2-D2 will actually interact with you. There’s no way you can pretend like that isn’t the coolest thing you’ve ever heard. Go ahead, just try to deny it.
Sure, you’re gonna have to drop some serious coinage on this little guy, but it’s totally worth it. Well, at least it would be to a real Star Wars fan. All you other losers out there shouldn’t even bother. I bet R2-D2 wouldn’t even want to be your friend. That’s right, I went there.
5 out of 5 droid stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 15″ x 7.5″ x 10.5″
-Weight: 6 lbs
-Obeys more than 40 voice commands
-Can answer yes/no questions
-Replays sounds and dialog from Star Wars movies
-Dances while playing cantina music
-Navigates rooms and hallways
-Requires 4 AA batteries and 4 D batteries (not included)
-Minor assembly required
I’m not a very good ping pong player. It’s hard to admit that to you guys, but it’s true. One might even say that I’m a terrible ping pong player, although I think that’s being a little harsh. Regardless, I do enjoy a good ping pong game every now and then like the rest of you out there, but losing game after game is really starting to get to me. No matter what I do, I can’t seem to best my opponent. I’ll get a few lucky shots in here and there, but there’s no consistency to my efforts. Others have tried to help me with my technique, or lack thereof, yet I still have yet to perfect my ping pong skills. I think it’s time to bring in the big guns.
When it comes to ping pong, the Brodmann Blades Ping Pong Set (Generate Design, $99.00) knows what’s up. I know, you’re looking at the price of this set and you’re a little skeptical, but just hear me out. Sure, this set has a price point above other ping pong sets that may seem in the same league, but that’s where you’re wrong. See, this set contains two hobby grade paddles that are majorly innovative when it comes to the game of ping pong. Instead of holding the paddle with your hand, the paddle fits over your hand. That’s right, it’s like a glove except it’s a ping pong paddle. I’m blowing your mind right now, aren’t I? As a result, you will experience increased comfort, which will help you relax and focus on the game, as well as greater ball control for a faster and more intuitive game. With sensor impact to reduce vibration, you’ll have a faster response and the “sweet spot” on the paddle will be enhanced. You’ll pretty much be able to feel exactly where the ball makes contact with the paddle – how awesome is that?!
You guys better watch out because I’ve been working on my game. That’s right, I might even score this time around. Maybe. There’s only so much a new set of paddles can do.
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 15″ x 9.5″ x 3″ (zippered case)
-Includes 2 hobby grade paddles, 4 branded ping pong balls, 2 terry wristbands, and a sturdy carrying case
-Paddles are one size fits all
-Direct ball feel over nearly entire blade face on both sides
-Improved ball control
-Sensor impact reduces vibration
-Enhanced sweet spot
-Faster response ability
Ok, so let’s face it, we’ve pretty much come to the point where if you were going to buy a gift for someone, it’s not gonna be online. Sure, there’s that small window of opportunity with 2-day shipping, but that’s pretty expensive and a lot times, it’s not even going to guarantee that your gifts will arrive in time for Christmas. So I thought today would be the perfect time to talk about a spectacular gift, one perfect for all occasions, yet just slightly unattainable.
The item in question happens to be the totally boss La-Z-Boy Cool Chair (Drinkstuff, £1299.99). I know you know this chair. And even if by some slim chance you have no knowledge of said chair, there’s no way that you’re not completely awestruck right now. I mean, you’ve got a La-Z-Boy recliner, for starters. Right away, you know you’re gonna be super comfortable lounging around in this chair all day. But the first upgrade is the built-in lumbar heating system. Who doesn’t like a nice heated chair during these winter months or after a long day at the office? Another noteworthy feature is the six motor massage system that is built into the chair. Again, who doesn’t want a personal massage controlled by a conveniently located handset after a hard day? Oh, but I saved the best part for last. The pièce de résistance, if you will, is the built-in mini fridge. That’s right, I said built-in, as in part of the chair, as in don’t ever have to get up to get a beer ever again. The fridge is located in one of the armrests and holds up to six cans of your favorite beverage. The fridge lid also comes equipped with a cup holder, because who could be expected to lift a finger when sitting in this heavenly cloud?
Ok, so what’s the downside when it comes to this beautiful chair? It’s only available for delivery in Northern Ireland. Yup, looks like us Yanks are getting the short end of the stick when it comes to gluttonous lush comforts. I mean, don’t we have the market cornered on laziness and obesity? You would think this chair would be marketed exclusively to Americans.
5 out of 5 Joey Tribbiani stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 1150mm x 1040mm x 850mm
-Fridge dimensions: 360mm x 145mm x 230mm
-Built in fridge holds up to 6 beverage cans
-Cup holder situated on lid
-6 motor massage system
-Built in lumbar heating system
-Hand crafted
-Only available for delivery in Northern Ireland
