I like to think of myself as something of a music connoisseur and as such I’m constantly turning my friends onto new tuneage. The easiest way to get someone to like a new song or band is obviously to play it for them, but that’s not always possible. I usually have my iPod on me, but I don’t want my friends sticking my earbuds in their ears (no offense). I have a headphone jack splitter, but that only really works if my friend has headphones on them. Also, if you have more than one friend (go you!), then that’s not going to work either.

There are a lot of portable speaker options out there and I can assure you that most of them are absolute crap. If you’re a professional music appreciator such as myself, then you need the Tembo Trunks (Generate Design, $39.00). Sold as a two pack, these silicone wonders amplify your musical selections up to 80 decibels – that’s three times louder! With no electronic components or moving parts (that also means no batteries), you’re probably wondering how these things work. All you need is your earbuds. No joke, that’s it. Just put each earbud in its respective earbud holder located in the back of each speaker and press play. Because you’re basically just using your iPod to power everything, your battery will actually last longer than one song. There’s so many awesome things about these speakers, it borders on insanity.

Do you think elephants helped design this technology?

5 out of 5 stars.

Specs:

• -Dimensions: 6.5″ x 6.5″ x 2″
• -Amplify music up to 80dB
• -Music is 3x louder
• -Compatible with iPods of all generations
• -Apple earbuds recommended
• -No parts or electronic components
• -No batteries required
• -Waterproof
• -Shockproof
• -Stackable
• -Available in ruby, green, blue, grey, or white
• -Made of high grade silicone rubber

Have I mentioned how klutzy I am? I’m sure I have, but in case you forgot here’s a refresher: I run into everything ALL THE TIME. My arms and legs are covered in so many bruises you’d think I was a cage fighter in The Octagon. As if that’s not painful enough, I also usually manage to mangle quite a few of my belongings on a regular basis just by existing. Nevermind the physical turmoil this is causing, but it’s getting pretty expensive replacing my gadgets and such.

Smaller items are most likely to meet their end as a result of my clumsy ways, so what I really need is something savvy like the Vintage Fold Up Wayfarer Sunglasses (Krudmart, $15.00). These sunglasses are ready for you to accidentally slam into a wall with them folded up in your pocket. See, it’s the folding that protects them from damage, unlike a traditional pair of sunglasses that would crumble into a million pieces of you looked at it wrong. I’m not saying that these things are indestructible, but they do have a leg up on the competition. I mean, they were manufactured in the 80s and 90s – what else would you expect?

Don’t try this with the sunglasses you already own. I promise, it will end badly.

4 out of 5 stars.

Specs:

• -Foldable sunglasses
• -Produced in 80s and 90s

True story: I was recently stranded on a desert island. Granted, it was only for a couple of days, but it was a less than stellar experience. One of the times I was at the airport waiting for my soon to be canceled flight and I passed by the duty-free liquor shop. It was really tempting to pop in a buy a bottle, if only so I’d have something to drink when I found out my flight wasn’t happening (which happened approximately 20 minutes later). The problem with buying cheap booze on whilst on vacation is transportation. You can’t bring it through security because it’s a liquid and if you buy at the airport, you’re most likely getting ripped off. So that just leaves packing a very breakable bottle in your suitcase and hoping for the best.

If you’ve seen the way baggage handlers throw your shit around at the airport, you wouldn’t trust them with anything remotely delicate. I think I’ll be using the JetBag Padded Absorbent Bottle Travel Bag (Kegworks, $4.95) to transport my spirits from now on so it has a prayer of reaching its destination in one piece. This reusable bag is padded with the same absorbent material that diapers are made of so not only will it cradle your precious bottle, but it’ll also eliminate any mess in case the bottle does break. If your booze makes it from one place to the other without incident, you can even reuse the bag because it features a resealable zip closure.

The only downside? Its capacity is maxed out at 750 milliliters so you’re stuck buying the itty bitty bottles from the store.

5 out of 5 stars.

Specs:

• -Dimensions: 7″ x 16″
• -Capacity: one 750 ml bottle
• -Pads and protects bottle
• -Reclosable zip seal
• -Lined with same absorbent material found in diapers
• -Perfect for travel
• -Reusable, if not soiled
• -Made of biodegradable material

It seems like I always need to look up just one more thing on my computer and most of the time, I think it’ll be a lot quicker if I don’t bother to turn on the light. That would be fine if I could actually type in the dark with any degree of accuracy, but I can’t. This doesn’t deter me though, as I will continue to misspell each word that I’m trying to type at least twice.

-Clip on task lamp brightens workspace
-11 LEDs provide illumination
-Approximately 30 hours of light
-2 levels of brightness
-Clip allows light to rotate
-Rubberized end pieces prevent slipping
-Battery operated
-Portable
-2 flip out legs

One time I was driving from my place to a friend’s house after work, which was about a three hour drive, and I really had to pee. I mean, really had to go. I was probably about 10 miles or so from his house, but I didn’t think I could even make it that long so I pulled over at the next exit and hoped there would be a bathroom nearby. Well, I was in luck because I found a bathroom, it just happened to be in a sketch city gas station. The minute I got in there, I knew I would have preferred to pee my pants. Not only was it disgusting, but I almost got trapped in there and I had left my phone in the car. All signs immediately began to point to panic.

-Dimensions: 3.75″ x 2″ x 1″ (metal tin)
-Always be prepared for public restrooms
-Includes 1 toilet seat cover, 2 antiseptic wipes, and 1 pair of latex gloves
-Great for travel