I love that it’s starting to get a little warmer, but it’s not for the reason you might think. Sure, it means lazy days hanging by the pool and weekend trips to the beach, and while that’s all very enjoyable, it’s not why I love summer. I don’t want to get all Danny Zuko on you, but if I’m gonna be honest, it’s those summer nights. That’s right, my favorite part of the summer heat is when it’s not hot. Really, it’s more about fact that the whole day could be blistering hot, but at night you need to throw on a hoodie because of the cool summer breeze. What can I say, it’s my fave.
It’s times like those when you need something like the Packin Heat Mini Heating Pad (Plasticland, $7.00) to keep you warm. Operating like your average portable heating packets, these gun-shaped pads look totally badass. I mean, if you’re gonna get called a wuss for being cold in the summer, you might as well try to look cool while doing it, right? This set of two gel-filled hot packs warm up instantly and last for an average of 20 minutes or more. Even more awesome, they’re reusable so you can sport that tough guy look on any cold day of the week.
Summer lovin’ had me a blast
Summer lovin’ happened so fast
I met a girl crazy for me
Met a boy cute as can be
Summer days driftin’ away
to uh-oh those summer nights
4 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 5″ x 3.5″
-Set of 2 gel filled hot packs
-Warm instantly for 20 minutes or more
-Reusable
I can’t stand being cold. I mean, I think I’d rather be a little bit chilly than insanely hot because then at least you can add layers. It’s not like you can continually strip clothing off if you’re hot – eventually you’re just gonna get down to skin and there’s nowhere to go from there (also, the potential for sunburn in sensitive areas is extremely high). The worst thing about being cold is that even though you can pile on layer after layer, sometimes it’s just not enough. You could have 20 blankets on top of you, but it’s gonna take about an hour for you to get nice and roasty toasty. And I’m impatient, so that’s just not gonna cut it.
What I’m interested in is a good old fashioned heated blanket, but with a more technological savvy twist, like the USB Heated Shawl/Lap Blanket (Convenient Gadgets & Gifts, $28.95). Specifically made for occasions when it would be virtually impossible or completely inappropriate to be holed up underneath a down comforter, this electrically heated blanket connects to your nearest USB power source. With a 4′ long cord, you’re not going to be tethered to your desk but I wouldn’t expect to be running any marathons any time soon either. For the ladies out there, this blanket can also be used as a shawl and has a button sew in to hold it in place. There’s an interior heating pad with a temperature range of 100 F – 113 F so there’s no way that you’re not gonna be cozy as a clam wearing this.
The only bad thing about a heated blanket is that as soon as you take it off, you’re instantly freezing again, Sure, that’s just like any blanket, but it’s a thousand times worse with a heated one. But then again, it’ll be that much warmer once you put it back on. It’s the same concept as getting out of a hot tub, only more easily accessible while at the office.
3 out of 5 stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 31″ x 17″
-Cord length: 4′
-Interior heating pad
-Temperature: 100 F – 113 F
-Plugs into USB port
-Made of soft plush velour
-Button to hold shawl in place
-Only available in blue
During this holiday season, were there some things that you asked for but didn’t get? Don’t you just hate that? Somebody asks you to make them a list of possible gift ideas, and then they don’t get you one item off that list. It’s like they wanted to know what you wanted for the sheer idea of expressing avoiding any of those items. There are some people though who can go off book and still manage to come up with the most awesome gifts imaginable. Depending on your point of view, this may or may not be one of those times.
One thing’s for sure, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Funky Cozy (Hot Topic, $28.00) is definitely not your usual holiday gift fare. Essentially the same as a Snuggie, this “Funky Cozy” helps keep you warm while lounging yet still allowing for freedom of mobility. Lazy people everywhere are rejoicing now that they can cozy up on the couch dressed as their favorite turtle teen idol. I mean, how else are you supposed to stay bundled up while eating your ramen? Available in one size, there’s sure to be enough slanket to cover your shivering self. Just be sure you don’t sit too close to the fire because this baby’s made of 100% polyester – not even Splinter could save you from the flames.
Curiously enough, this “Funky Cozy” is only available in three out of four ninja turtles. Even stranger, the ostracized turtle is not Raphael (he is the moodiest of the bunch), but rather Michelangelo. What did Michelangelo ever do to deserve such a snub? It is quite possible that he’s so popular and is currently unavailable, but I think there’s a conspiracy afoot. And I bet we all know who’s behind this one…Oroku Saki!
5 out of 5 ridiculously obvious Snuggie rip-off stars.
Specs:
-Choose from Leonardo, Donatello, or Raphael
-Care instructions: wash cold, dry low
-One size
-Made of 100% polyester
Ok, so let’s face it, we’ve pretty much come to the point where if you were going to buy a gift for someone, it’s not gonna be online. Sure, there’s that small window of opportunity with 2-day shipping, but that’s pretty expensive and a lot times, it’s not even going to guarantee that your gifts will arrive in time for Christmas. So I thought today would be the perfect time to talk about a spectacular gift, one perfect for all occasions, yet just slightly unattainable.
The item in question happens to be the totally boss La-Z-Boy Cool Chair (Drinkstuff, £1299.99). I know you know this chair. And even if by some slim chance you have no knowledge of said chair, there’s no way that you’re not completely awestruck right now. I mean, you’ve got a La-Z-Boy recliner, for starters. Right away, you know you’re gonna be super comfortable lounging around in this chair all day. But the first upgrade is the built-in lumbar heating system. Who doesn’t like a nice heated chair during these winter months or after a long day at the office? Another noteworthy feature is the six motor massage system that is built into the chair. Again, who doesn’t want a personal massage controlled by a conveniently located handset after a hard day? Oh, but I saved the best part for last. The pièce de résistance, if you will, is the built-in mini fridge. That’s right, I said built-in, as in part of the chair, as in don’t ever have to get up to get a beer ever again. The fridge is located in one of the armrests and holds up to six cans of your favorite beverage. The fridge lid also comes equipped with a cup holder, because who could be expected to lift a finger when sitting in this heavenly cloud?
Ok, so what’s the downside when it comes to this beautiful chair? It’s only available for delivery in Northern Ireland. Yup, looks like us Yanks are getting the short end of the stick when it comes to gluttonous lush comforts. I mean, don’t we have the market cornered on laziness and obesity? You would think this chair would be marketed exclusively to Americans.
5 out of 5 Joey Tribbiani stars.
Specs:
-Dimensions: 1150mm x 1040mm x 850mm
-Fridge dimensions: 360mm x 145mm x 230mm
-Built in fridge holds up to 6 beverage cans
-Cup holder situated on lid
-6 motor massage system
-Built in lumbar heating system
-Hand crafted
-Only available for delivery in Northern Ireland
Wowza, there’s only 11 days left until Christmas! I really hope you’ve started your Christmas shopping, or at the very least starting thinking of gift ideas because time is just going to fly by from now on. Unless you’re a child under the age of 10, then it will pass slower than molasses in January. Now, I know we talked about maybe different kinds of gifts for the varying types of people in your life. One such type is that of the terrible gift giver. Year after year, this person gives you the worst gifts humanly possible. You would just as soon receive nothing than have to figure out what you’re going to do with a talking yard gnome or yet another ugly Christmas sweater. What’s even worse than getting a bad gift? Getting a bad gift from someone that you bought an extremely awesome gift. Not only did you spend precious time and money on these gifts, but you really thought about what your recipient wanted for Christmas. Whereas they just scrounged around the “Half Off” bin, thus explaining your gift last year of footie pajamas. It’s time to take a stand against thoughtless gift giving!
I’m all about making sure the gift suits the person receiving it, but sometimes you’ve got to go all out to teach someone a lesson. The Christmas Yule Log DVD (Walter Drake, $14.99) is sure to get your point across this holiday season. Sure, on the surface there’s nothing wrong with a good ole fireplace on TV, but let’s delve a little deeper. What does this gift say about the recipient? That they love fireplaces? That they’re too poor/cheap to afford an actual fireplace? Do they think a fireplace DVD is the perfect cost-effective way to heat their home?may surface during the 80 minute DVD, but chances are you’ll all be too busy listening to the 29 Christmas songs to address them.
Now, I’m not advocating buying someone a present with the hopes that they’ll hate it. That’s not the point at all. What I’m saying is, why waste time worrying about what to get someone who clearly isn’t doing the same? Who knows, you might even get lucky and find someone who absolutely loves video fireplaces. Like a woodstove salesman.
5 out of 5 faux fire stars.
Specs:
-Duration: 80 minutes
-Plays 29 songs These questions and many, many others
